Stolen Time

“Hey, Mom. Guess what?”

“What, Piper?”

“I love you.”

Piper is a spontaneous lover.  She doles out “I love yous” like beads at Carnival. She interrupts me mid-sentence. Just as I’m ranting at everyone to grab their lunchbox don’t forget your coat did you wash your hands, I lean over to hurry up Piper who is sitting on the stairs pulling on her shoes and she whispers “I love you.” It slows me down. Just for a second. I kiss her cheek.  I sniff her a little.  It’s what mothers do.

This afternoon we stole an hour together and went to the library.  We had overdue books to return and more errands to run, but a welcome cancellation left us with a whole unscheduled hour. A luxury indeed.  Our public library is in the town center, an adorable cobble stoned space with shops, restaurants, and people. There is an outdoor ice skating rink and summer concerts.  It’s one of the reasons we wanted to live here. Actual live people out enjoying their community.  Who knew? The library is three stories with a glass bottomed spiral staircase.  The first thing Piper likes to do when we visit is slowly climb the entire staircase.  The she holds my hand and leads me through the reference area, shushing me with her finger to her lips.  I assure you I’m being quiet, but Piper knows the rules.  At the library she actually follows them.  After our trek up and down the stairs, we visit the children’s area, which is tucked away in a glass rotunda.  This afternoon we planted ourselves on bean bag chairs in a pool of sunlight.  Piper fetched books and I read and read.  She rewarded me with little “I love yous” between books.

Library

Piper can be a hot mess most days.  But she loves really hard and she tells me all the time.

Just as we were leaving the library, Piper asked again “Hey, Mom. Guess what?” I smiled and braced myself for another love reward.

“What, honey?”

“Let’s get donuts.”

Oh, well played, Piper.

Once Upon a Turtle

Nana is visiting this week, which means we are playing with new toys.  The biggest hit is Story Cubes.  It’s supposed to go like this: roll all 9 cubes and make up a story based on the symbols.  Piper makes up her own rules, though. Rolling isn’t involved. Cubes can be turned and/or ignored.  There are no wrong answers.

Now I’ll let Piper tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was a rainbow. It was a sad rainbow because it lost its magic.  See the wand? That tells you its magic.  It’s leaking stars. Magic wands do that if they really have magic. When the wand ran out of start it was sad, too.  Can I change the cube to happy?  I don’t like all this sadness.  The end.

Once there was sheep.  She was named Jenny.  Jenny the sheep loved to read.  All of her books were about New York City. She loved New York City. Then she had an idea. See the lightbulb? Why not take her rainbow with her to New York City? Jenny the sheep met a turtle.  The turtle was named Crumbles.  He lived in a little house in Central Park.  He like rainbows, too. So one day Jenny and Crumbles went to a fountain together.  And their books got all wet.  They laughed and laughed.  It was okay, though, because they just rolled back the story cube and dried off their books. By the way, that parachute guy doesn’t belong. The end.

The Birthing of a Bambi

Most four-year-olds have questions.  Instead, Piper has answers. At dinner tonight she explained what she learned from watching Bambi about how deer have babies.

  “Well, it’s complicated, really,” Piper began. “You need some water. Then you shove some hooves into the mama deer’s belly.  Then, you add the water. Voila.”

“So, it’s like those foam pellets that expand in the water and become toys?”

“Exactly,” she confirmed. “Stop laughing at me, Sissy!”

Sissy, who actually knows how deer have babies, couldn’t help herself.

My partner couldn’t resist, either. “What does the buck do?”

“He just waits on top of the mountain.  What else would he do?”

I’m certainly not going to answer that one.

What’s in a Name? Guts.

It was the night before my baby shower and all through the house every baby was named except the one in my belly.  My sister-in-law arrived with an agenda, having heard a rumor that we were undecided in our task. She’d had twins a few years before, so she has street credibility in the baby naming department. She’s also a media specialist at an elementary school, so if anybody knows how other kids will tease and torture you because of your name, it’s her.

There was a scientific approach to baby naming, she said.  It goes like this. We make lists. Everyone gets a veto. No one can go to bed until we decide. Here was our first round:

The name Piper miraculously appeared on each list!  Perhaps it was the subversive suggestions from my father. There were other contenders, though, so we made pro/con lists for each finalist.

That “people could freak out” seemed a persuasive enough reason. I floated the name the next day at the baby shower. “We like the name Piper, but I’m not sure I have the guts to actually name her that. People could freak out.”

“True,” my friend Elizabeth said, “but if anybody has the guts, it’s you all.”

It felt like a double dog dare. I couldn’t possibly back down.

Before our final decision, we asked our friend Dash, who was named after the mystery writer Dashiel Hammett and knew all about growing up with an unusual name.

“It’s fine,” Dash said, “as long as she’s not a loser.”

“Did anyone ever give you a hard time?”I asked.

“No. Probably because I’m not a dork.”

So Piper became a Piper and it fits just fine.

What’s in a Name? Guest Blogger: Grandpa

I get the “Oh, that’s an interesting name!” response often. Fortunately, most people have enough manners to withhold the “Oh, that’s an interesting child!” response once they’ve experienced a few minutes with the Piper. They’re usually too busy laughing or staring with open mouths. We’ll continue today sorting out the business of how Piper became a Piper. Here we go.

In Grandpa’s second guest blog, he’ll share his Piper naming story:

Grandma and I have always known the secret to Piper. We know why she is the way she is. It’s simply her destiny.

The naming as I see it:  I am responsible, at least partially.  My great friend Dean and I were on one of our weekly fishing trips.  I can’t remember if this was one where we talked and fished or just talked.  Many times we have to remind each other to put our lines in the water.

He was telling me the great joy his new great-granddaughter was.  Her name is Piper.  He told me her name fit perfectly.  I asked permission to use Piper in a future, yet to be determined naming opportunity.  Since he freely granted permission, I tucked the information away not knowing when that opportunity might present itself.

Now here, I have to be careful.  My daughter, Piper’s keeper, is a strong-willed, opinionated woman who does not take direction well.  And she wonders where Piper gets her stubbornness. They’re both probably better of for it.

It took some time to slyly suggest the name.  I think I said “Piper” in every conversation we had until the great naming ceremony.  I said “Piper” when I coughed.  I reminded her that her alma mater, Monmouth College, had a Pipe Band and bagpipe players. Apparently it worked.

Piper is the perfect name for this child.  The name is English in origin and means “flute player.” And that seems exactly what she is.

Piper lives for joy in the moment. She should be a lesson to us all.

I actually think she is trying to raise us.  I hope she succeeds.

Grandpa also offers sage advice about the quest for lalaloopsys. Check it out. 

What’s in a Name?

Baby naming is a dangerous business. Everyone wants in on it.  Everyone is an expert. When people meet Piper, they either love or hate the name.  The first time I took her to meet our pediatrician he said, “What? You named her Pepper?”  He declared her a healthy baby with insane parents.

There are many versions to the story of how Piper became a Piper. I’ll share a few in the next coming blogs, but here is an article I wrote for Mothering Magazine when I was pregnant with Piper about the perils of baby naming.

http://www.mothering.com/pregnancy-birth/baby-naming-101

For Sissy’s version of the naming of Piper, read this. Stay tuned for more.

Careless Whispers

At dinner last night Sissy reminded us that we hadn’t decided on our family Lenten sacrifice. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, so the clock was ticking. I’m pretty sure Sissy has wings hidden on her back somewhere. Here is the brainstorming session verbatim.

Sissy: TV? We could all give up TV.

Piper: NOOOOO.

Dad: How about beer and chocolate?  I’d be willing to abstain from those for 40 days.

Me: That totally doesn’t count. You’re allergic to those things, and I’m not giving them up.

Sissy: I know something that would really hurt? Our glasses.

Dad: But we’d all be blind.  We all wear glasses.

Me: Good point.  That might cause more harm than good.

Piper: How about board games?  We could give those up.  We waste half the night playing those things.

Sissy: True, but I’d miss family board games.

Dad: A lot of people give up meat for Lent.

Sissy: So we have to give up tofu?

Piper: We’d STARVE!

Dad: I’ve got it.  I’d be willing to give up underwear. Just think of all the laundry we’d save.

Me: No. Just no.

Piper: Gross.

Sissy: Eww.

Dad: How about mean words?

Me: It’s a great idea.  We could all work on not saying mean words to each other.

Piper: What if I forget?

Me: How about we all say three nice things to make up for the one mean word?

Sissy: We’re going to need a poster.  I’ll make a poster. Can I make a poster?

Dad: Sure.

Piper: Wait. Let me ask one question. Are potty words considered mean words? What if I whisper mean words and no one hears me? Does that count?

This might be a rough forty days.  I’ll keep you posted.

Darth Vader Brings Home the Bacon and Fries It Up in a Pan

Piper and our current invasion of chipettes proudly delivered this to me this morning:

Remember the great allowance debate? Piper’s been saving her dollars and picking up loose change with her trash. Remember that $5 bill that Grandma and Grandpa sent for Valentine’s Day?  It adds up and eventually my if-you-want-a-lalaloopsy-so-bad-save-your-money-and-buy-it-yourself speech comes back to haunt me. She’s been begging for a lalaloopsy. It’s hard business not giving in to her demands. It’s not just her soft brown eyes and the gut punch you feel when a usually joyous Piper has a quivering lip.  It’s that a Piper is relentless.  She beats you down.  She makes you count her change daily and google the lalaloopsy sale prices.  When Piper wants something, just call it a day.

So, off we went to the store with a box full of money hoping for a hard-earned lesson. Piper was patient while I did the other shopping.  She was gracious standing in line to pay with her own money for the first time.  She was proud of herself. We headed home with our heads held high to introduce Berry Lalaloopsy (she’s the $11.48 variety) to the rest of our family.  She made friends immediately.

Then she sat down on a stool and watched her man make her dinner.

Piper may have learned even more than I bargained for.

Snow Falling from Sissy

Sissy was in charge today.  It was a holiday from school, so my partner and I split teams.  I had to teach, so he worked from home. Piper and Sissy came up with their own idea of fun.  It’s called an agenda:

Be still my Virgo heart.  Look at that tight scheduling.  Makes this neurotic mama proud. See, fun can be organized? Who needs spontaneity? Mixing up your chores with puzzles is a win-win. How else are you supposed to remember to pick up after playing daycare unless you include “pickup” as part of the activity?  I think Sissy may have already discovered the intoxicating pen stroke of crossing off a task from your to-do list.

When I came home from work, I was met with a full report.  The siblings got along swimmingly.  Apparently, only squabbles occur when the parental units are present.  We’re clearly the problem.  Piper’s assessment was bit more postmodern.

“I like it when Sissy reads better.”

“How come, Piper?”

“When Daddy reads it sound like thunder.  Mommy uses a mouse dream voice and everything always turns out okay.”

“And Sissy?”

“When Sissy reads it’s like snow falling.”

Potty Parties and Do-overs

According to the dictionary (I’m giggling because I just read many college student essays that began in this pitiful way), a do-over is a noun that allows “a change to redo an action” and alludes to “going back in time.” We need many do-overs in this house.  In fact, we all need more do-overs in life. This morning was no exception.

Piper likes company in the potty.  It’s rarely a private affair.  In her early potty days, she insisted that I stand close enough that she could plunge her head into my belly in case the job became too intense.  Fortunately, those traumatic bathroom days are behind us. She still likes to talk at full volume through the door, though, narrating the action, sometimes trying out her beloved potty words.  So when I heard this:

“Mom, I’m going to try to go to the bathroom like a boy!”

I ran, just as you would, to stop the madness. Too late.

“Oh, that didn’t work out so well,” she called before I even made it through the door.

Where is the do-over button when you need it?