Saturday morning in our house means chores. I’m known as the general manager, which is a kind of chore, right? Sure it is. The negotiation of chores in our house is one effective way to avoid the actual doing of chores. It goes something like this:
Magnets get moved until there is shalom in the home. Or until the general manager declares the negotiations over and begins shouting about doing the actual chores. This week, though, the girls brought an old grievance to the family meeting: allowances. I’m not opposed to allowances. Kids can learn a lot from money management. I just can’t remember to give them regularly and I never have actual cash in my purse. I’ve asked, but these kids won’t let me swipe my debit card. So, we asked how much allowance they thought was fair.
Piper opened the negotiations. “$400 sounds reasonable.”
Laughing all around. “How about $1 per week?” Her dad countered.
Piper let out a loud sigh. “$100 is enough. That’s fine.”
“I’m willing to raise my offer to $2 per week.”
“No.”
Dad tried to rationalize. “We don’t seem to be getting anywhere. You’re supposed to suggest a number closer to ours.”
“No.”
“So, you don’t want an allowance?” I asked.
“Wait,” Piper said, “how much does a Lalaloopsy cost? That’s how much I want.”
I shook my head. “I don’t even know what that is.”
“I think $5 is a good amount for me,” Sissy suggested. Ever the voice of reason. “Or maybe we should get $1 for our ages.” Did she just up her own offer?
Piper, who claims she doesn’t know her numbers, did the math and came up immediately with the difference. “That’s $4 more. Why does she get more than me? What’s up with that?”
“I do more chores,” Sissy said. “I get more money. I’m older. That’s fair.”
“Fair? What’s up with that? How many Lalaloopsies does she get?” Suddenly, Lalaloopsy became our currency and we were stuck in a Seinfeld episode.
Clearly, the general manager is going to need a raise.
piperism 
Well played Piper! I love this girl!
She’s always known exactly what she wants…and mostly how to get it. I have to admire her tactics. They usually work.
$100 a week sounds fair for allowance, but she must pay her own way around the house now that she has a job.Say?????? $10 per day for room and food, say??? $2 per day for laundry, Sayy???? maybe $2.00 per day to drive her to school and back home.And how about $1 per day for electricity and television rights. Now my math isn’t the best but this is how I negotiated with Gene 4 several years ago when wanted a raise on allowance. Oh!!! I also put a satisfation guarantee in it when negotiating.If he forgot to do 1 chore in week no pay. Sooo now you are paying Piper $100 a week and her bills come to $105 soo now she needs to do chores (all of them) each week and pay you $5 a week or more if she forgets. Seee everyone is happy :0
Awesome. I’ll let Piper know immediately that Uncle Big Bear will be sending her a check for her weekly allowance. Problem solved. Thanks, brother.
Lalaloopsy is a big deal at our house & has become currency as well. “Dor” gets to stay with Emma when she’s behaved/completed chores, etc. “Dot” resides in Mama’s room when above is not up to par. Effective system so far.
You are way ahead of me, Reagan. I had to google lalaloopsy just to find out what P was talking about. I thought, understandably so, that she was making up more vocabulary.