Introducing today’s guest blogger: Piper’s grandpa. He wrote in response to the post I’ll Raise You a Lalaloopsy in which Piper almost successfully negotiated a $400 weekly allowance so she could get one of these:

Here’s what my dad had to say on the chores, allowances, and the lalaloopsy issue:

Dear Piper’s Keeper,

As a seasoned negotiator both in capitalism and with children and allowances (also in getting grandchildren to do chores for next to nothing by offering to teach them a lesson),  I’m freely offering my services to settle this lalaloopsy conflict.

First, I think everyone should get allowances, adults as well as children.

I propose the following for consideration:

1. List all chores to be done.
2. List all possible participants.  (It would appear the General Manager has successfully done these items based on the chart)
3. Give each chore an amount.  Here I would suggest using Lalaloopsy currency since it seems understood by all participants.
4. Let all participants “bid” on each chore.

For instance, consider the following Lalaloopsy schedule:

• Cleaning the bathroom is a tough chore if done right: 50 Lalaloopsy
• Vacuuming is easy stuff, at least I thought so until I learned you had to vacuum the wood floors, too (according to your mom):  20 Lalaloopsy
• Taking out the trash:  It’s a no brainer, except for remembering to put a new trash bag in the kitchen can before you dump the coffee grounds into it:  5  Lalaloopsy
• Making school lunches should not be on the chore schedule.  If you want to eat, you should make your lunch.  I have to make my own lunch when I go fishing.  I want to eat when I go fishing.  After all, listening to the radio and eating are mainly the reasons I go fishing.  Consider applying the same reasoning to dinner.
• Laundry:  What could be easier?  It’s not like we have to go down to the stream and beat the underwear clean on a rock.  The machines do everything.  Three loads, white, dark, and other.  Ironing?  That is what they make jackets and dry cleaners for.  Folding laundry and sorting? That’s what they make dressers for.  Besides, you cannot be responsible for the way your children look in public.  Look around you.  Clearly parents are not.  2 Lalaloopsy
• Cleaning your room:  Unless you are selling your home, the cleanliness of your room should be up to you.  That is what they make doors for.  Sissy has clearly figured out the chore of keeping her room clean.  She sleeps and plays in Piper’s room while leaving hers set up as a picture session for Modern Decorating Magazine.  She’s also cleverly convinced Piper that she sleeps in her room to make Piper more comfortable. Lalaloopsy value? Priceless.

Now, here is the important part.  Have everyone bid on each chore for the amount of Lalaloopsys they think it’s worth.  For example, I love to buy groceries.  I would bid 1 Lalaloopsy on that chore in order to hopefully win it.  Consider that there are only two of you who can drive to the store so it will come down to you and Joe to get this bid.  Joe is not a good shopper.  He is a good list buyer.  You, as the General Manager, can easily make a case for this chore.

Have open bidding, auction style.  I would suggest you watch Storage Wars to get the idea. If you want help setting my proposal and/or the auction up, let me know. I will be happy to bid on it.

With love,

A content grandpa, dad, and husband