Piper wants a teddy bear. Not just any teddy bear will do. It has to be a Build-A-Bear and it has to grow from birth. Piper’s birthday is coming up.  A teddy bear is entirely possible, but I fear she has something more complicated in mind.

“My bear is being born right now,” she whispered to me at nap time. “He’s three minutes old.”

“Really?  How do you know?”

Piper rolls her eyes at my question. “I’m his mother. His Build-A-Bear mother. I know.”

“So your Build-A-Bear is growing right now?” I’m actually trying to follow her logic. There may be a real question in there somewhere that I need to address.

“Only if I buy him will he actually be built and grown. It’s like a daughter. Like you grew me. With a computer.”

“I didn’t pick you out on a computer, P. I grew you in my body,” I explain.

“Right. But you chose me. I remember.”

“You remember?”

“Yes. I was on the shelf waiting to be born. Then you came in and chose me. It was exactly like at Build-A-Bear.”

Hmm. I remember it a bit differently, but I’m pretty sure arguing will be futile.

The Birthing of a Bambi

Most four-year-olds have questions.  Instead, Piper has answers. At dinner tonight she explained what she learned from watching Bambi about how deer have babies.

  “Well, it’s complicated, really,” Piper began. “You need some water. Then you shove some hooves into the mama deer’s belly.  Then, you add the water. Voila.”

“So, it’s like those foam pellets that expand in the water and become toys?”

“Exactly,” she confirmed. “Stop laughing at me, Sissy!”

Sissy, who actually knows how deer have babies, couldn’t help herself.

My partner couldn’t resist, either. “What does the buck do?”

“He just waits on top of the mountain.  What else would he do?”

I’m certainly not going to answer that one.