darth vader | piperism

Piper and our current invasion of chipettes proudly delivered this to me this morning:

Remember the great allowance debate? Piper’s been saving her dollars and picking up loose change with her trash. Remember that $5 bill that Grandma and Grandpa sent for Valentine’s Day? It adds up and eventually my if-you-want-a-lalaloopsy-so-bad-save-your-money-and-buy-it-yourself speech comes back to haunt me. She’s been begging for a lalaloopsy. It’s hard business not giving in to her demands. It’s not just her soft brown eyes and the gut punch you feel when a usually joyous Piper has a quivering lip. It’s that a Piper is relentless. She beats you down. She makes you count her change daily and google the lalaloopsy sale prices. When Piper wants something, just call it a day.

So, off we went to the store with a box full of money hoping for a hard-earned lesson. Piper was patient while I did the other shopping. She was gracious standing in line to pay with her own money for the first time. She was proud of herself. We headed home with our heads held high to introduce Berry Lalaloopsy (she’s the $11.48 variety) to the rest of our family. She made friends immediately.

Then she sat down on a stool and watched her man make her dinner.

Piper may have learned even more than I bargained for.

Piper loves the dark side. She roots for Vader, and she cries when he dies. We knew that raising Star Wars girls could have consequences, but we never imagined it might go this far. She’s even perfected her Darth Piper impersonation.

She’s also a big fan of the Emperor. Shooting lightening out of your hands is cool and apparently not the least bit scary. Her sister is hiding under the couch and Piper wants more blood on the screen. And that’s the thing. What should scare Piper actually fascinates her and what is not the least bit scary sends her into a frenzy. When we took her to see “A Christmas Carol” at Ford’s Theatre we worried that the pyrotechnics and ghosts might be too much. We prepped her with the Dickens story, the Kelsey Grammar movie version, and an introduction to spirits of every sort. When the ghost of Christmas future, who looked a lot like the Grim Reaper, floated above our heads Piper laughed out loud. I had to cover her mouth to hide the giggles. But guess what does terrify her? Mannequins in department stores.

Regardless of the information we provide, Piper can’t decide if they’re real or fake. She likes to get really close to them, daring herself even closer, then sprint away and clutch one of our legs. Every time we go shopping, it’s the same set of questions: “Is that one real? How about that guy? Is he real? And that one over there? Fake or real? How about the bald one? It looks real. Is she fake? She looks real.”