Super Powers

If Piper was a super hero, she’d be known for her Pipeyness. Pipeyness is hard to define but it’s easy to detect. It’s a way of being, a powerful force.

“Pipeyness is a lame super power,” Piper said.

“No way. Pipeyness is the best super power ever,” Sissy disagreed. Sissy is president and CEO of the Piper fan club. Most of the time.

Yesterday at Universal Studios Piper met all of her favorite superheroes. Spider-Man. X-Man. Wolverine. And the “tough girls,” too.

“See those Super Women, Mom? They’re so tough they don’t even need weapons!”

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You Can’t Give Up on Christmas

Papa outdid himself this year. The Christmas tree seems to be getting bigger with each additional grandchild. A tall ladder is needed for hanging lights and ornaments.

Here is Piper’s view tonight.

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Those are the second story ceiling beams near the top of the tree. Next year he may have to put in skylights. Piper approves.

“It’s the most beautiful Christmas tree I’ve every seen!” Piper declared tonight while coloring. Her dad strummed holiday tunes nearby. We all sang along.

Then we guessed at the logistics of getting a tree that large in the house.

“I’ll bet Papa had it delivered,” Sissy said.

“Probably. It definitely wouldn’t have fit in the car,” Daddy agreed.

“Papa knows how to do Christmas. He tries and tries,” Piper said. “You can never give up on Christmas!”

Ladies Who Lunch

Today I observed Piper in her mostly natural habitat: school. First, I went to art class with her. The class was working on self portraits and they were each given a mirror in which to study themselves. “I could just look at myself all day, Mom,” Piper said, gazing longingly at herself.

Self Portrait

Piper excelled at observation. She spent most of art class making faces in her mirror and leaping about the room doing her other favorite art activity: sharpening her pencil.

Then we were off to lunch. I got in line behind Piper and carried my Muppets lunch box. It made me very popular. Another mom asked me if I’d packed it myself. I told her I did. I don’t think she was very impressed, though. I didn’t write myself a note like I do for Sissy and Piper but I kind of wish that I had. It would go like this:

Dear Piper’s Mom,

I hope you enjoy lunch with Piper today. You’re awesome!

Love,

Piper’s Mom

At lunch, Piper and I unpacked our food onto our snowman napkins. Then we ate our apples. Then our peppers. Then Piper threw down her whole thermos of pasta fagioli in ten seconds flat. I worked on my carrot sticks. Piper read her note out loud to me.

Dear Piper,

I’m eating lunch with you. I’m right next to you!

Love, 

Mom

That cracked us up. We almost got in trouble for laughing. Geez.

Lunching

Then Piper marched off to recess and waved good bye.

I really, really hope she invites me again.

Doomsday

Piper is our sage when it comes to all things doomsday.

At breakfast this morning Sissy filled her in on the end of the world as we know it.

“It’s 12-12-12,” Sissy said. “Something big is going to happen.”

“So what? Who cares?” It helps to imagine Piper’s “Scrooge voice.” Then she finished off her waffle. No reason to face impending doom on an empty tummy.

On the way to school Daddy told Piper the rest of the predictions. Why he chose to do so is a worthy of its own post on questionable parenting decisions but that’s not what this blog is about, is it?

“The Mayan calendar ends next week. Who knows what will happen,” Daddy said. “Some people say that the world will end.” The he busied himself staring out the window to avoid my incredulous glare.

“So what? Who cares?” Piper said. “Bah humbug.”

Kanga Mom

I thought we’d stopped. I keep saying that. I must be in denial.

Piper’s been finding me in the middle of the night again. She wakes up two or three times and tries to sneak into our bed. There’s nothing wrong. She doesn’t need anything. She isn’t sick. She just wants to be there. I wouldn’t mind her there either if it weren’t for the snoring, kicking, tossing, and climbing on top of me thing.

“I’m cold and you’re so warm,” she says, snuggling in. I let her. Then I march her back.

“I just need a hug. You give the best hugs,” she says. I hug her. Then I march her back.

Sometimes I wake up and find her on a pillow next to me. I don’t remember when she snuck in. Sometimes I’m too tired to march her back.

Every night when I put her to sleep I give her “the look” and she says, “Stop, Mommy. I know what you’re going to say. I have to sleep in my own bed. I know. I will.” She doesn’t.

Last night I woke up to find her standing by the door. She must have been assessing the risk. “I just wish you had a pouch,” she said, “so I could crawl back in.”

Nutcrackering

First, there were tippy toes. At nine months Piper raised herself up on her arches and began walking. Those of you who have seen her in person know that she’s been there ever since. It used to worry her teachers. It worried her doctors, too. But her ballet instructor stopped class once and exclaimed “Oh! Those arches!”

Then there were the tutus. Obsessed. Multi-colored. Layers of tutus. And ruffles. With sparkles. Glitter, please. Blue tutus, hot pink ones, rainbow tutus. They go with everything.

Now there is the infatuation with Clara in The Nutcracker. This all adds up, you see. It’s obvious where I’m going.

“Mom, I want to be Clara. Really be her, you know. Like in the ballet,” Piper said from the backseat as we were driving Sissy to piano lessons.

“You totally could,” Sissy agreed.

“You have to work really hard at ballet, Piper. You’d make a beautiful Clara,” I added.

“Wait,” Piper said, “does Clara wear a tutu?”

“I think so,” I said. “She’s also in her nightgown for part of the ballet.”

That made Piper giggle. Being on stage in your nightgown is just silly.

“Wait,” Piper said, “have you ever seen Grandpa in a tutu?”

“Thankfully, no.”

That made Sissy giggle. Grandpa in a tutu is just silly.

“He’d wear one on stage with me in the Nutcracker I’ll bet,” Piper said, “If I asked him pretty please.”

Ballerina Piper

All the Single Ladies

The house is officially decked. The tree is up. We’re eating on snowman plates. Holiday music is on tap. All the nativity scenes have been arranged and rearranged. Piper likes to round up all the various baby Jesus’ and puts them in a nursery together. The Josephs like to hang out in a “man cave,” which is probably not that far from the truth of time period. And the Marys? Piper has that figured out, too.

“These Marys need a girls night! They’ve got to be so bored just kneeling there watching the baby Jesus day after day after day. They need to dance!”

Marys

 

 

Wait 30 Minutes After Eating to Go Swimming

Piper requested pasta fagioli for dinner last night. Again. In the perfect Piper world, any kind of pasta with any kind of bean in any kind of broth would be served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Probably snacks, too. Here’s how I make mine:

Bring to a simmer 4 cups water, 1 can tomato paste (6 oz.), 1/4 cup olive oil, 2 tbsps dried basil, and a dash of red pepper flakes (Piper actually likes it spicy). Simmer for 30 minutes. Add 3 cans drained cannellini beans. Simmer another 30. Cook pasta (I use elbow or shells). Add salt and pepper to taste. You can also add chopped spinach or kale. Serve it all up topped with parmesan. Yum.

Last night Piper ate two heaping bowls. Then she begged for a third. Halfway through it, she ran to the couch, splayed herself on it, and announced “Just a minute! I’m digesting!”

Telephone Games

Either Piper is very bad at the telephone game or she’s hard of hearing or kindergarten is indeed a very strange place. Here are Piper’s contributions last night to the dinner conversation:

“Michael’s mom wants to change his name to Lily.”

“Really?”

“Yep, that’s what he said. I don’t know if that means he’ll be a girl or a boy now.”

 

“Daniel’s parents are from the past.”

“The past? Like way in the past?”

“Yep, that’s what he said. They’re hundreds of years old.”

 

“Our teacher times us doing our work. She only gives us thirty seconds to do each activity.”

“Wow. That’s not much time.”

“I know. It stresses me.”

 

“Did you know you can grow a lima bean out of your ear?”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. There’s one growing in mine right now.”

Morning Exams

Morning snuggles often catch me off guard. I’m half asleep. I stayed up too late grading essays. I haven’t had coffee. Piper’s brain, however, has been churning. She’s ready for heavy stuff.

“Mom, do you believe in God?”

“I do.”

“Mom, do you believe in Santa?”

“I do.”

“If you’re naughty, do they both know?”

“I don’t know.”

“If God and Santa asked if I was naughty, would you lie for me?”

“No, Piper. I wouldn’t lie for you. But you aren’t naughty.”

“I know. I was just testing you. I talk to those guys, too, you know.”