Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

I didn’t know what to expect when I started blogging. I didn’t know the blogging world existed. I had an idea and a double dog dare. I assumed it would be easy. Turns out it’s taught me more than I expected.  Today is the 163rd day of the year. I’ve posted 156 piperisms. So far, so good. But to reach my goal of 365 piperisms, I’ll need to catch up a bit. Stay tuned. While you’re waiting, here are a few lessons I’ve learned from my brief foray into the blogging world.

1. Pay attention. I watch Piper with a keener eye for her funnies. They come rapid fire. Blogging has helped me be more in the moment as the moment occurs. Piper easily does about 10 things a day worthy of blogging. I try to capture what I can. Sometimes I’m too doubled over laughing to write it down. My apologies. I’ll try to take her more seriously.

2. Be patient. When I first started piperism I would often panic about the next day’s content. What if I can’t come up with anything to blog? What if I’m grumpy and can’t write funny? What if Piper is too busy throwing up, throwing a tantrum, or throwing things at  Sissy to do anything blog credible? It hasn’t happened. Family and friends who have visited during the days of piperism know how this stuff just writes itself. I’ve learned to trust that the post will happen. It does again and again. It will tomorrow, too.

3. Appreciate your fans. My family and friends have been enormously supportive of piperism. They give me ideas. They tell me their own funny piperisms. They’re faithful readers. I couldn’t ask for more.

4. Be grateful to readers. I’ve made friends in the blogging world I’ve never met in real life. Frugalistablog, The Waiting, I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown, Elephants and Rutabagas, Mommysaidaswearword, and Excitement on the Side have been here from the start. These women crack me up. They cheer Piper on. They’re slogging through posts with me. I look forward to reading their blogs, and I’m grateful to have them on my side.

5. Do what you say you’re going to do. The commitment to piperism has helped my writing more than anything else. Every day I’m going to blog. Bird by bird. Step by step. I will write something, even if it’s just a few paragraphs. This summer I’m writing 1000 words a day in addition to piperism. The commitment toward a larger project has been easier more manageable since I’ve started piperism. I said I was going to write. I said it out loud. My bluff was called. Darn it.

Blogging, much like parenting a Piper, has been a welcome education. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I’ve been humbled by the process. At the end of this year, I’m going to have a cool blog book to give to Piper. Thanks for being a part of it, too. Piper and I are honored that you’re reading.

Guest Blogger: Raold Dahl a.k.a. Sissy

Our guest blog is brought to you today by Sissy. Enjoy!

Okay. There’s no denying it. I love to read. I mean, if this were possible, I’d stop eating, sleeping, and going to school just to sit at home and read. Naturally, with a family full of academics, Piper’s should go on to be a great reader. But with a Piper, you can never tell.

Anyway, Piper’s certainly on the right track. Ever since I decided to be the author Roald Dahl (author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The BFG, Matilda, and more) for a school project, she’s become semi-interested in his books. Here’s me as Roald Dahl for the project, the wax museum:

The other day I decided to introduce Piper to one of Dahl’s less famous books, The Giraffe and The Pelly and Me.

Piper was enthralled. She loved every minute of it; the singing animals, the rich duke, the singing, the diamond burglar, the sweet shop, and all the singing (did I already say that?). Strangely enough, her favorite part was the robber.

“Why would he want to steal? He’s going to get caught. Duh.”

I answered as gently as I could. “Well Pipey, some people don’t make good choices.” Evidently, I didn’t need to.

“That robber should be locked up. Why didn’t his mommy yell at him?”

Well, just FYI, our mom does not yell. Don’t know where Piper got that. But evidently, in her mind, that solves everything.

Anyway, the book was a hit. She begged for me to read it every second of my free time and we finished it in three days. She asked me to re-read it the second I finished and wanted to borrow it. I still haven’t gotten it back. I’m now starting another Dahl book with her. Wish me luck.

-Sissy

Duh. It’s My Website.

When people read piperism, they usually ask me two questions:

1. Does Piper know you’re doing this?

2. Does Sissy wish she had her own blog, too?

Yes, Piper knows all about the blog.  When she does something that makes us all spew our drinks at dinner, she says, “You’re going to blog about this, right?” I usually do.  Tonight at dinner her Sissy prompted her to explain what piperism actually is. Piper rolled her eyes. “Duh. It’s my website.”

No, Sissy doesn’t want her own blog. She’s at that age where blasting her funnies into the universe would be devastating. Preteen privacy is to be respected. Sissy enjoys being a part of the blog, though, but she gives me a thumbs up or a thumbs down on ideas.  She enjoys writing the occasional blog post herself, but since she writes better than me, we had to put a quick end to her contribution. I’m only half kidding.

Last weekend we passed the 20,000 hits mark, so I thought it might be time for a retrospective. Here are the top rated piperisms based on number of views since we began. Hope you enjoy the ride. Feel free to vote for your own in the comments.  I love to hear what laugh made your day a bit lighter.

1. Hold On. We’re Going Gaga

2. Even Sleeping Beauty Stalls

3. Words You Didn’t Know You Needed

4. Drunk Dialing or Something Like It

5. Raising Star Wars Girls

6. Soulmates

7. I’ll Raise You a Lalaloopsy

8. Sometimes You Get What You Need

9. Piper Ruins Your Lunch

10. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

Thanks for reading!

Lost and Found

Six weeks ago piperism existed only in our hearts and minds. Here is one my favorite pics of Piper’s heart and mind:

So, I decided to blog.  My sister-in-law egged me on. Why not record and share Piper’s hilarity?  Why not write something for fun again and enjoy the process? Surely, at least my mom will read (Thanks for reading, Mom!). More than 7000 hits later, piperism seems to be going strong.  There have been a few…shall we say, accidental followers along the way. I’d like to take a moment to apologize to them.  I’m sorry if piperism led you astray. Here are a few search terms and their actual verbiage (in italics) that have been innocently typed into search engines that resulted in a new piperism reader:

girls that like star wars-Whoever you are, we could be friends.

piperism-Really? 26 searches? It’s sweeping the nation.

darth vader mannequin-You’re weird. That is all.

pull up laxatives-I’m sorry. We can’t help you here. Wishing you potty progress.

Here’s a category I’m not particularly proud of: filthy socks, hoarders for beginners, pictures of stink Nice, Piper, nice.

its okay if you disagree with me i can’t force you to be right-Ooh. Someone’s angry.  Hope the piperism lightened your load.

soulmates resist you-Now that makes me sad. This blog probably isn’t for you. If your soulmate is resisting you, you’ll never get yourself a Piper.

invalidated barbie-Huh? That implies they were ever validated.

utz cheese chips-Clearly, you aren’t listening.  I said the crab utz chips were seasoned crack.  The cheese ones are just regular crack.

lalaloopsy underwear-If that actually exists, Piper is going to go gaga. Again.

girls who love yoda-Sounds like a self-help group for recovering nerd lovers. We’re big fans of yoda and nerds. We get you.

chore chart-This one I totally get.  I think I’ve even searched on that. How else can you prove to your partner how much more you do then them?  It’s all about the score.

mulgated-This actually brought a tear to my eye.  I’m kind of proud. My baby made up a word and two people in this crazy world thought it was real. Sniff.

you don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you-Again, what’s with the anger? I know some good therapists if you need one.

Finally, my personal favorite: tutus and the ballerinas that love them. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Piper in a nutshell. You’ve found your blog.

40 posts later. Here we are.  However you got here, I’m glad you stopped by.  I’m flattered you’re reading. I hope Piper made you laugh or at least helped you see a little more joy in the world. I’ll keep writing and recording the antics and adventures. I’m grateful for the chance. Hope to see you again soon, even if by accident.