Let’s Get This Party Started

As you know, we’re amping up around here for Piper’s birthday. She’s excited, too. She’s had to endure being 4 11/12 (Sissy recently taught her fractions) for much too long. 5 needs to get here already.

But Piper doesn’t wait for something as obvious as a birthday to party. As Mrs. Peterman says, “I am the party!” Last night we were enjoying an evening together with extended family, which means most of us were sitting around on couches chatting and catching up when Piper shouted “I know! Let’s play dance freeze tag!” It’s not that we were bored or in search of an activity, it’s that Piper can’t imagine people not on their feet partying every minute. Who wants to do something boring like talk? Geez. As a Piper is, she was relentless in her party planning.

“Dad, you play the guitar. Play something fast so we can really dance. Then stop. We’ll freeze. If you don’t, you’re out. Come on!” Piper said. Then she dragged us one by one off our comfy spots. We went, reluctantly. We danced. Some of us lost rather quickly just so we could settle back into the couches and resume our chat. Piper won freeze tag, of course. She’s always the last one partying.

“How about musical chairs?” Piper suggested next. “Won’t that be fun?”

“Isn’t that a lot like dance freeze tag except with chairs?” I asked.

“Yes!” Piper shouted, once again insisting we all join her fun. And the music began.

Hey, Kid, Want a Cigarette?

I’ve done my best to scare my kids away from smoking. I may have told them a few stories about wrinkles and bad breath. “Mommy, have you ever smoked?” Piper asked.

I haven’t. I could be honest on this one. Whew.

“No. I haven’t smoked, P,” I answered.

“That’s why your skin is so smooth. You’re so pretty,” Piper crooned. I didn’t stop her.

“Thanks, honey. You also must always, always, always wear sunscreen. That keeps away the wrinkles, too.”

“I promise to never smoke and to always wear scumscreen,” Piper said. “You’re skin is so smooth,” she continued, rubbing her tiny palms on my face. “Except for your neck.”

Division of Powers

I’m home for the summer with my kids. All the time. Every minute. Me and them. That’s it. I’ve always joked that I am a good parent ten hours a day, which means by hour eleven we’re drinking beer and watching Will and Grace on the couch. I’m kidding. Don’t worry, Mom. I’d never let them watch Will and Grace.

We’ve been enjoying the lazy summer days. Sleeping in. Swimming. Playing cards. Doing projects we never get around to during the busy school year. Traveling a lot.  But there never seems to be enough me to go all around. Someone wants more. More of me. They’re never satisfied with my full attention. Yesterday, I said, “How about if I just divide my body? We’ll slice me up and dole out pieces. Then you don’t have to fight over me.”

Without missing a beat, Piper said, “Okay. I want you arms. So you can hold me all the time.”

Two Truths and a Lie

In the pool this afternoon, we taught Piper the game “Two Truths and a Lie.” You’ve probably played some version of it. The rules are rather obvious. Piper caught on quick. Let’s see if you can guess which one is the lie.

“Okay. Okay. I’ve got mine,” Piper said. “I’ve had my face painted a lot and I mean a lot. I got four ant bites at camp. And I have twenty legs.”

Tough, isn’t?

Reunited and It Feels So Good

Piper spent much of yesterday being a baby cheetah with Augie. Their reunion was everything you can imagine: jumping, squealing, rolling around like puppies. They played. They went to the park. They had frozen yogurt. They went to the bathroom together and emerged to inform us all that they’d married. It must have been the romantic hand washing. Here’s a little hand holding, too:

“We’re married now!” Augie announced.

“Too soon! Too soon!” Piper said. Then they ran off together again to be baby cheetahs. Here’s some prowling antics:

“You know I’m famous, don’t you?” Piper asked. “You’ve heard of my blog? Piperism? It’s where Mommy writes down all the funny things I say.”

“Oh,” Augie said, clearly unimpressed, “let’s be baby cheetahs again.”

“Roar!” Piper growled, her humility firmly back intact.

Queen of Backhanded Compliments

We had a little celebratory dinner last night in our house. It’s been a big year. Another cross-country move, new schools, new jobs, yet another new home. Sissy received a glowing report card. Piper finally learned to swim. We’ll take any excuse for a party. I let Sissy and Piper plan the menu: pizza, lemonade, salad, fancy miniature pastries. The table was set with superfluous paper umbrellas and paper plates. Candles were lit. We’re fancy.

We took a moment to say what we were grateful for. Piper was thankful we all know our place in the family. “Mommy, I’m glad you keep us doing. That way we never get bored and we get our doing done. Daddy, thanks for not eating the stuff you’re allergic to so that you can make everything fun because when you’re sick, you aren’t fun at all. And, Sissy, your job is to make everyone happy. You always play with me and that makes us all happy.”

Daddy’s Day

“I’m glad you’re my daddy because you tell me stories. I like the superhero ones and the ones about Amber the toenail eating monster. Even though you say monsters aren’t real. I’m sorry that you can’t eat chocolate. It’s really good. I bought you licorice instead. Sissy said you like it. Oh, and I like that you’re silly.”

-Piper Mae, Father’s Day, age 4

Peace Camp

Sissy and Piper are attending Peace Camp this week. It’s all about the world and your role in it. Make yourself more peaceful if you want to change the world. It’s a Unitarian Church so we’re all into Thoreau over there. And there’s a dance contest every day, which Piper won, of course.

“My camp counselor said she liked how espresso I was!” Piper said, proudly displaying her stickers. I’m not sure if her verbal slip says more about her dance moves or my love of all things caffeinated.

“Did she say you were expressive?” I asked.

“Yep! That’s it!”

In addition to peaceful dancing, there is storytelling. This is a current favorite:

The Peace Book cover

“If there was more peace maybe the world could be magical,” Piper said. “Maybe.”