A Tale of Two (or Three) Giraffes Part 2

Have you read A Tale of Two (or Three) Giraffes Part 1?

Here’s part 2:

This afternoon I cleaned out Piper’s backpack. We were searching for her homework, which she likes to stuff really far down in various pockets in hopes that I won’t find it and make her do it. Nice try.

Buried deep down in there were the giraffes magnets that were recently confiscated by Piper’s teacher from the thieving, evil first grader who stole them from Piper’s locker.

Except. Piper had two giraffe magnets. And now we have…


“Piper, why do you now have three giraffe magnets?” I asked.  “You only had two before.”

“Ugh oh,” Piper said, “maybe I stole HIS giraffe magnet! I’M the thief!”

Don’t worry, dear readers. Piper will be returning the giraffe magnet to the innocent, evil first grade boy first thing tomorrow.

A Tale of Two (or Three) Giraffes Part 1

Part 1: There was a crime spree at Piper’s school last week. At least, according to Piper.

“Mom! A little boy stole my giraffe magnet!”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I saw it in his locker. I was walking by in the hallway and I saw MY giraffe magnet in HIS locker.”

Piper told her teacher. The teacher gathered information and investigated the crime scene. Then she helped Piper retrieve the evidence. And they decided that maybe Piper shouldn’t bling out her locker with such cool stuff. Piper agreed and packed up her locker mirror, pictures of Sissy, magnetic notepads, and giraffe magnets. No reason to leave the good stuff in plain view when there are elementary school thugs roaming the halls.

“Who was the boy?” I asked.

“Some first grader,” Piper said. “Those first graders are all evil.”

A Tale of Two (or Three) Giraffes Part 2

An Apple a Day. Or Not.

Sissy did a locker inspection today. It didn’t turn out well for Piper. Sissy told on her after school.

“So I was walking through the hall today and I saw Piper’s coat hanging out of her locker. Being the awesome big sister that I am, I stopped to open the door and tuck in her coat.”

“Sounds like you were spying,” I said.

“Guess what I found?” Sissy reported. “Apples. Rotting apples. In a plastic bag. On her snack shelf. That’s disgusting.”

“I kind of like them,” Piper said. “They’re all brown and mushy.”

“Why do you have rotting apples in your locker?” I had to ask. I couldn’t stop myself.

“You sent them for snack but we didn’t have time to eat snack that day so I keep them there,” Piper explained. Perfectly logical. “It was awhile ago.”

“Why didn’t you throw them away?” I asked.

“They’re cool.”

“Ewww,” Sissy said, “that’s totally gross.”

“I offered them to Daniel, but he didn’t want them.” Giggle, giggle.  “So then I truth or dared Kieron to eat them. He wouldn’t either.”

“What was the truth?”

Piper thought about that. “Okay. I dared and dared Kieron to eat them. He still wouldn’t do it.”

“You need to throw them away, Piper,” I said.

Piper thought some more. “Maybe.”

Dear New Kindergarten Teacher

Dear Ms. New Kindergarten Teacher,

It was a pleasure to meet you yesterday at orientation. My daughter, Piper, is very excited to have you for her teacher, especially since you wore that blue shirt. Piper thought you needed a little bling to your outfit, but I explained that you were probably going for professional and something that made you look older than twelve. Good choice.

I understand this is your first year teaching. Who knew you’d be so lucky to get your very own kindergarten class when you just graduated from university last week? Big score. I’m rooting for you. And don’t worry too much about being stuck in the old art room rather than one of those awesome real kindergarten classrooms. Who needs their own bathroom with twenty squirmy five-year-olds? I’m sure it will be a fun class field trip down the hall to the restroom several times a day. At least you got a smaller class due to the cramped space! Gotta look on the bright side, right?

I’m sure you’ll remember our little Piper from orientation. She was the one who crawled inside her locker and shut the door? Wan’t that hilarious? You might want to consider drilling some air holes in there. I promise it won’t be the last time. In fact, if you lose Piper throughout the school day, you might check her locker first.

Piper is a little trickster. She has big plans for that locker.

As I mentioned at least a dozen times yesterday, I’m happy to help you in whatever way I can. I’ve taught in the trenches before, and I know the first year can be a wonderful roller coaster ride. And you’ve got a Piper on top of it. At least she’ll make you laugh along the way. Please let me know how I can spy  volunteer my time in the classroom. I’m looking forward to keeping my eye on you helping.

Good luck!


Piper’s mom