Category Archives: Daily Dharma

For Your Eyes Only

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Sissy has a top secret diary. A diary is essential when you are 10 years old and it’s PRIVATE, of course. Sissy likes to carry her PRIVATE diary all over the house and accidentally leave it open. She loses it at least twice a day. Piper can’t help but peek. She is a little sister after all.

“Stop looking at my diary!” Sissy screams. “It’s PRIVATE!”

“But I can see it,” Piper protests. “You left it right there.”

Sissy snatches her diary up and slams it shut.

“It’s my diary. It’s PRIVATE. You can’t see it!”

“OK,” Piper agrees, “can I smell it?”

Life Illustrated: Preschool Edition

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Remember this? Piper was never thrilled about preschool.

What a difference a school year makes.

She wore her purple shirt today, the one with the rainbow, just so that she could draw herself this way.  Her hair had to be in braids. And that little red swirl is a smile on Piper’s face.

Free Will or Something Like That

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This is one of the library books I read over and over these days.

Piper loves it because, like the little girl in the story, she thinks kindergarten might be a little scary, too.  The story girl decides to keep a diary about her feelings as she embarks on her new adventure. First, she plans her outfit.

Piper loves this idea because it involves her favorite things: choosing her own clothes, tutus, and rainbow anything. “I think she looks beautiful,” Piper says during our 316th read.

This is what the little girl’s mom actually makes her wear:

See how sad the little girl is? Her mom even made her wear socks. Someone should call protective services. Piper finds this a great injustice. “She’s already scared of school and then her mommy makes her wear something scary, too? Socks are so itchy.” Piper gets this little girl. She wants to fight for her right to dress herself.

The story ends well. No surprise there, huh? The little girl loves kindergarten. She never wants to leave. She forgives her mom for publicly humiliating her by making her look presentable on the first day of school. Piper won’t budge on the issue, though.

“You’d let me wear the first outfit, wouldn’t you?” Piper asks.

I nod, reluctantly. It’s true. This isn’t my first rodeo. I pick my battles. Besides, rainbows and tutus make Piper feel powerful. But I understand the other mommy. I’ve gotten more than a few looks for letting Piper be a Piper.

“You’re a good mommy,” Piper declares, which probably just earned her a pass to wear Mardi Gras beads and a tiara tomorrow, too. With ruby red slippers. Piper believes you can’t over accessorize. Whatever it takes to feel like you can conquer kindergarten and the world.

In Sickness and In Health

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Piper can’t decide if she’s sick today. Her head hurts. Her tummy hurts. She may or may not have strep throat. She has no actual discernible symptoms. No fever. No runny nose. At least not that I can tell. It’s hard to check her temperature when she’s dancing around the living room as Daddy plays the guitar. She’s insisting on only soft foods: homemade waffles, strawberries, mac n cheese. Those happen to be her favorites anyway. How convenient.

“Mom, what’s it mean to faint?”

“Well, you kind of fall over like you’re sleeping. You aren’t really awake.”

“I feel like I’m going to faint,” Piper says, curling up in my lap. I take the opportunity to look down her throat. Nothing. “I need some orange spice tea.”

Then Piper finds a beach ball among the bags at the front door.  Sissy and her friends are throwing a going away party for one of their Dancing Queens. Piper digs deeper in the bags. There’s confetti, water balloons, and cookies.

“Party?” Piper says, “Beach balls? Thank goodness I’m feeling better!”

Beach Balls Mini Inflatable Beach Ball 5'approx. Inflated and 7'approx.deflated 12/Pkg

Go Take a Hike

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We took Piper hiking in the Shenandoah Valley yesterday. It was her first hike. She wasn’t that excited. “So, you just go walk around in the woods? Boring.” She complained in the car most of the drive up the mountain. I let her wear her tutu and bring her favorite stuffed animal. These are essential components for forest exploration.

Piper’s dad gave a brief lecture on poison ivy. This led to her favorite new game called “Is this poison ivy?” in which she touched every leaf in the woods and asked…you guessed it: “Is this poison ivy?”  Half of the hike went like this.

“Is this poison ivy?”

“No. Put that down.”

“How about this? Poison ivy?”

“I hope not, especially since you just rubbed it all over your cheek.”

“Hey. Look at this leaf. Is it poison ivy? Huh?

“Stop!”

Luckily, Sissy pulled Piper close to enjoy the view.

Then they explored flora and fauna together by poking unknown things with sticks.

Piper took a brief tumble on the steep part of the trail. I cleaned up her wounds the best I could and she said, “Mommy, you make everything better.”

At the end of our hike, Piper declared it a moderate success. She agreed to do it again anyway. “I liked the hiking part,” she said, as we emerged from the woods, “just not the falling down part.”

I Wear My Sunglasses at Night. And During the Day. Afternoon, Too.

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I know what you’ve been thinking. As much as the Piper loves all things rainbow, I’ve been neglecting one very important accessory.

You’ve heard from Sissy in “A Rainbow of Fruit Flavors” about Piper’s love of rainbow dresses.

You know that Piper’s parachute would be rainbow colored.

You may even remember, dear reader, that Sissy wanted to name Piper after a rainbow. Refresh yourself in “What’s in a Name? Guts.”

And don’t forget Piper’s plethora of rainbow tutus in “When in Doubt, Tutu.”

In fact, just for fun, I typed in “rainbow” in the little search engine at the top of the blog to see how many times I’ve written about Piper’s obsession with all things rainbow. It’s too embarrassing to reveal. You’ll just have to do it yourself.

But still, something was missing, wasn’t?

You’ll probably sleep better tonight knowing that the rainbow sunglasses have been procured. Whew.

Just Keep Swimming. What Do We Do? We Swim.

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We spent yesterday at a water park. It was Piper’s first. She had no fear.  I kind of wish she’d had a tiny bit. Piper ran to the top of every slide and plunged herself down each tube with no idea of what would meet her at the bottom. She ran under waterfalls and laughed when she fell out of the float on the lazy river. There was no stopping her courage. It was terrifying. I’ve never been more proud.

Piper has been a little reluctant about the whole swimming thing. She’s wanted a float, water wings, and a life jacket. She’s taken swimming lessons and told me that “they just didn’t work.” All that changed yesterday afternoon. Sissy and Piper went into the three foot pool together to “work on” the swimming thing. Piper forgot her reluctance and just took off kicking. And just like that we have a swimmer. Within ten minutes she was diving to the bottom of the pool and racing her sister in laps. Sissy swims like a fish, but Piper wasn’t far behind.

To celebrate, they shared a chocolate milkshake.

Piper showed her true strength and beat her Sissy to the bottom of the cup.

Consider Us Orientated

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‘Tis the season for kindergarten orientation. Piper and I went last week. I brought along the 312 pieces of paperwork required for admission into the public schools in Montgomery County. Piper’s doctor, dentist, and therapist (okay, that’s a joke, she doesn’t have a therapist…yet) signed off on her readiness. Piper has been looking forward to orientation for months. She can’t wait to go to the same school as Sissy and walk together every morning.

When we arrived, they gave Piper a name tag and took her picture. Then they separated the parents from the kids. Some of the kids weren’t so thrilled about this, but Piper skipped off down the hallway leading the pack and called “Bye, Mom!” over her shoulder.

The kids were taken to do “fun” activities, which looked a little like “testing” to me. Piper aced the name writing and pattern part.

She impressed them equally by debating whether her art was more like Van Gogh or Monet. Hmmm.

I can’t say that the parents had as much fun. There weren’t any art projects. We weren’t allowed to eat the snack. We watched videos on how to properly drive through the “kiss and ride” lane and why backpacks on wheels are destroying civilization.  Then, we were told to quit our day jobs so that we could spend the summer doing skill and drill in hopes of possibly preparing our kindergartners for the first day. Piper is supposed to be reading at Level Four by the first day, whatever that means. Here is some of our summer homework:

Once Piper and I were reunited, she declared, “Mommy! Kindergarten is so much fun! Can we do it again tomorrow?” Looks like we’ll be doing it for most of the summer anyway. Rather than cancel our summer vacation so we can attend the Summer Academy for Parents, Piper put on her tiara and we went out for cupcakes.

She chose a peanut butter chocolate one because it started with P. That may not be Level Four, but it’s yummy enough for me.

Dam the Monster Update

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The other night I wrote a barely coherent post at 3 a.m. regarding the invasion of monsters in our home and sleepless nights. You can read it here. I was up anyway. Might as well write.

My fabulous cousin, Margee, wrote me immediately with a remedy.  I think she felt sorry for my blubbering helplessness. I’m grateful. Margee recommended that we whip up a batch of Monster Spray which rids the house of said pests. This sounded like a perfect challenge for the Sissy. I can surely mix lavender (which monsters hate, don’t you know) with water, but Sissy said it needed to look authentic. She grabbed one of her American Girl spray bottles (by the way I didn’t know that AG girls even needed spray bottles for their hair but apparently this is another department in which I fail) and made a label. I taped it on. That was my artsy contribution. There.

Piper loved it. You’d think it was Christmas around here. She was so excited to have the Monster Spray. She sprayed the beds. All of them. In case she went wandering bed to bed in the wee hours, for which she’s famous. Then she sprayed the windows and doors. These are clear entry points for monsters. Then she sprayed her pajamas. The house smelled like a spa. We were all ready for sleep.

As I was tucking her in, Piper asked, “Is the monster spray real?”

I sort of avoided the question. “Monsters aren’t real, Piper. Remember?”

“Yeah, but I like the spray. It smells good. Let’s pretend they’re real so we can spray them.”

Then Piper slept twelve straight hours.

Margee is a genius.

Dam the Monsters

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It’s 3 a.m. and I’ve just spent the last ten minutes constructing a “monster dam” in Piper’s bed. What’s a “monster dam” you ask? It’s when you pile up all your pillows and the 200 stuffed animals from your bed into a barrier, like a beaver dam, that blocks your bottom bunk from the entry point of monsters. Monsters can’t climb over a pillow mound, apparently.

Isn’t this the same little girl who Wanted: One Monster Under the Bed?

“Every time I fall asleep my imagination sends scary stuff,” Piper whimpers.

I hold her close, willing away the monsters. “Let’s try to think happy thoughts instead,” I suggest. “What makes you happy?”

“The beach, ice cream, Sissy, when there aren’t monsters in my head.”

Then I do what moms have been doing since the advent of the first monster dream, I bring her to bed with me. It’s a desperate move. I’m sure it’s one I’ll regret in the morning. Right now all I want is sleep. I’ll take a snoring little girl with a foot in my face to get it.

“Mommy, if I close my eyes are you sure I won’t see monsters?” I’m not. But I have to say I am or there won’t be anymore sleep and we’ll both be nightmares tomorrow.