Tag Archives: piperism

Let’s Get This Party Started

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As you know, we’re amping up around here for Piper’s birthday. She’s excited, too. She’s had to endure being 4 11/12 (Sissy recently taught her fractions) for much too long. 5 needs to get here already.

But Piper doesn’t wait for something as obvious as a birthday to party. As Mrs. Peterman says, “I am the party!” Last night we were enjoying an evening together with extended family, which means most of us were sitting around on couches chatting and catching up when Piper shouted “I know! Let’s play dance freeze tag!” It’s not that we were bored or in search of an activity, it’s that Piper can’t imagine people not on their feet partying every minute. Who wants to do something boring like talk? Geez. As a Piper is, she was relentless in her party planning.

“Dad, you play the guitar. Play something fast so we can really dance. Then stop. We’ll freeze. If you don’t, you’re out. Come on!” Piper said. Then she dragged us one by one off our comfy spots. We went, reluctantly. We danced. Some of us lost rather quickly just so we could settle back into the couches and resume our chat. Piper won freeze tag, of course. She’s always the last one partying.

“How about musical chairs?” Piper suggested next. “Won’t that be fun?”

“Isn’t that a lot like dance freeze tag except with chairs?” I asked.

“Yes!” Piper shouted, once again insisting we all join her fun. And the music began.

Baby, You’re a Firework

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It’s a well-know fact that the Piper loves Paty Kerry. She can’t get enough of that Firework song. “Who sings it again?” we ask.

“Paty Kerry,” Piper says. Giggle. Giggle.

So, in honor of Paty Kerry we took our own little firecracker to the Big Tent today to get some celebratory gun powder. We blew our $10 budget way out of the water when Piper saw this:

It was her fake birthday after all. After the rainbow sparklers, rainbow smoke bombs, and rainbow frog that shot rainbow sparks, we walked down to the pond’s edge for the air trooper finale. We were promised a rainbow parachute on our little army guy. He went boom and then parachuted down the hill into the woods. Piper wanted to chase him, of course, but the bushes were taller than her. Grandpa had no choice. “Kids,” he said, addressing the assembly of grandchildren, “we’re going to need the four-wheeler.” The pack trudged off to the shed for the necessary equipment. Then, they rescued our air trooper.

“Did you like the fireworks?” I asked Piper, after she came up the hill. I was hiding on the front porch. It’s best if Mommy doesn’t watch you ride a four-wheeler packed with grandchildren down a hill into the woods. I know my place. Out of sight.

“It was the best fake birthday I’ve ever had,” Piper said.

“What was your favorite part? The smoke bombs? The sparklers? I know. It was the parachute guy?”

“Nope. The four wheeler ride!” Of course.

Happy Fake Birthday to You

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We celebrated Piper’s fake birthday today. What’s a fake birthday? It happens when you’re halfway across the country with family that you won’t see on your real birthday so we throw a fake birthday party. There’s cake and candles and presents.

We pretend well. Piper told every single person we saw today that it was her fake birthday. Checkout clerks were impressed. Strangers on the street wished her a happy day. Our waitress would have sang if we hadn’t stopped her.

The best part of your fake birthday is our real birthday tradition, which we borrowed from Uncle Pete’s family. On your birthday (in addition to the breakfast in bed), we also give you a dollar and tell you our favorite thing about you.

So, Happy Fake Birthday, P. Here goes:

What’s your favorite thing about Piper?

Mike and Ike

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To beat the heat, we took the girls to a movie matinee today. Piper asked for a box of Mike and Ike candy, too.

Mike & Ike - original flavors - 6 oz theater box

We said yes. We know how to party. Piper reached inside and started tasting the chewy goodness. “Mmm…this one is strawberry. Yummy. I think this is lemon. I love lemon. And this one,” she said, holding up a lime green candy, “is zucchini.”

Mike & Ike Oriignal Fruits

Hey, Kid, Want a Cigarette?

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I’ve done my best to scare my kids away from smoking. I may have told them a few stories about wrinkles and bad breath. “Mommy, have you ever smoked?” Piper asked.

I haven’t. I could be honest on this one. Whew.

“No. I haven’t smoked, P,” I answered.

“That’s why your skin is so smooth. You’re so pretty,” Piper crooned. I didn’t stop her.

“Thanks, honey. You also must always, always, always wear sunscreen. That keeps away the wrinkles, too.”

“I promise to never smoke and to always wear scumscreen,” Piper said. “You’re skin is so smooth,” she continued, rubbing her tiny palms on my face. “Except for your neck.”

Division of Powers

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I’m home for the summer with my kids. All the time. Every minute. Me and them. That’s it. I’ve always joked that I am a good parent ten hours a day, which means by hour eleven we’re drinking beer and watching Will and Grace on the couch. I’m kidding. Don’t worry, Mom. I’d never let them watch Will and Grace.

We’ve been enjoying the lazy summer days. Sleeping in. Swimming. Playing cards. Doing projects we never get around to during the busy school year. Traveling a lot.  But there never seems to be enough me to go all around. Someone wants more. More of me. They’re never satisfied with my full attention. Yesterday, I said, “How about if I just divide my body? We’ll slice me up and dole out pieces. Then you don’t have to fight over me.”

Without missing a beat, Piper said, “Okay. I want you arms. So you can hold me all the time.”

First Round Draft Pick

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“What’s this?” Piper asked, crawling into her dad’s lap as we watched T.V.

“It’s the NBA draft. Want to watch with me?” he answered. He was thrilled to have the company.

“Umm, Dad. Why are we watching the NBA draft?”

“To see where the players go. I like to watch the parents celebrate, too. They’re pretty proud.”

Piper watched quietly for five seconds.

“Umm, Dad. Why are we watching the NBA draft when it’s soooo boring?”

 

Two Truths and a Lie

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In the pool this afternoon, we taught Piper the game “Two Truths and a Lie.” You’ve probably played some version of it. The rules are rather obvious. Piper caught on quick. Let’s see if you can guess which one is the lie.

“Okay. Okay. I’ve got mine,” Piper said. “I’ve had my face painted a lot and I mean a lot. I got four ant bites at camp. And I have twenty legs.”

Tough, isn’t?

Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

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Piper had her first sleepover last week. It was at Augie’s house. Dreamy, I know.

When I picked her up, I asked about the sleepover success.

“Did you use your best manners, P?” I asked.

“Yep. I was polite, Mom. I really was,” Piper said.

“Did you follow their rules?”

“I did,” Piper answered. “But they don’t have the no jumping on the bed rule. Thank goodness.”