Piper’s Notes from a Sort of Sick Bed

1. Isn’t it great, Mom, that I got sick on a Saturday? You don’t have to cancel anything. You’re welcome.

2. Why doesn’t my body have enough skills to fight a little ole fever? Geez.

3. Uh oh. Time for a zebra pack. (Z-pak antibiotic)

4. More orange spice tea, please. Wait. Did you put in extra honey? Mmm. You’re such a good mom. Wait. Are you trying to cover up some medicine with that yummy honey?

5. What if I wake up a cheetah? Wouldn’t that be cool? I’d be a nice cheetah, though. I wouldn’t hurt you, Mom. Question! Do cheetahs get sick?

6. Pharmacies shouldn’t have candy. Candy doesn’t make you feel better. Toys make you feel better. Pharmacies should give away toys with medicine.  Just like Old McDonalds.

7. Can you stick that thing that beeps in my armpit again? I’ve got an itch in there.

8. I can’t brush my teeth.  Can’t you see I’m sick? Teeth brushing will make me even sicker. It will.

9. Good night, Mommy.  I’m not going to wake you up as much tonight. Probably.

10. If I’m sick again tomorrow can we finish reading “The Secret Garden”? And If I’m not sick tomorrow can we finish reading “The Secret Garden”?

Some Like it Hot and Spicy

This is the Piper’s favorite drink: steeped Orange Spice Tea with one dollop of honey, one ice cube, and a dash of apple juice. She’s been fighting a cold lately so she orders even more “spicy tea.” Why wouldn’t a girl who’s spicy herself love a little hot toddy with a kick? It suits her. Piper, too, is a zesty blend.
A big part of Piper’s spiciness is her ability to get everyone to do what she wants.  This afternoon I was praising Piper’s dad because he’d spent the afternoon meeting her every need. “You have a good daddy, Piper,” I said. “He helped you get ready for ballet and took you to class.”

“Uh huh,” Piper agreed.

“He picked you up from school and made you a snack.”

“Uh huh.”

“He’s making dinner and cleaning out your lunch box.”

“Uh huh. Yep. He’s a good daddy because he does everything I tell him to.  Now, can I have some tea?”