“Mom, can we eat dinner out tonight? Like in a fancy restaurant?” Piper asked from the back seat.
“Maybe,” I said. “If you can use your best manners, promise to try something new, and eat a vegetable, then yes, we can.”
“Yeah,” she said, “we’ll just stay home.”
First, there were tippy toes. At nine months Piper raised herself up on her arches and began walking. Those of you who have seen her in person know that she’s been there ever since. It used to worry her teachers. It worried her doctors, too. But her ballet instructor stopped class once and exclaimed “Oh! Those arches!”
Then there were the tutus. Obsessed. Multi-colored. Layers of tutus. And ruffles. With sparkles. Glitter, please. Blue tutus, hot pink ones, rainbow tutus. They go with everything.
Now there is the infatuation with Clara in The Nutcracker. This all adds up, you see. It’s obvious where I’m going.
“Mom, I want to be Clara. Really be her, you know. Like in the ballet,” Piper said from the backseat as we were driving Sissy to piano lessons.
“You totally could,” Sissy agreed.
“You have to work really hard at ballet, Piper. You’d make a beautiful Clara,” I added.
“Wait,” Piper said, “does Clara wear a tutu?”
“I think so,” I said. “She’s also in her nightgown for part of the ballet.”
That made Piper giggle. Being on stage in your nightgown is just silly.
“Wait,” Piper said, “have you ever seen Grandpa in a tutu?”
“Thankfully, no.”
That made Sissy giggle. Grandpa in a tutu is just silly.
“He’d wear one on stage with me in the Nutcracker I’ll bet,” Piper said, “If I asked him pretty please.”
I took Piper shopping this afternoon for her holiday gifts. She made her list beforehand. It went like this:
1. Daddy
2. Sissy
She was pretty proud of herself for handling the money and the list. First she had to choose between a basket, a cart, or one of those in between basket things on wheels that never roll right. You guessed it.
Piper selected her gifts more carefully. She thought hard about what Daddy might like. She knew exactly what Sissy wanted. I’d share her picks here but those two may read this, you see, and Piper’s whole surprise would be ruined. And she’s trying very hard to keep the gifts a surprise. She’s giving hints, but they mostly go like this:
“Mom, guess what I got you for Christmas?”
“What?”
“A pencil. Yep. I got you a pencil.” Snicker. Snicker.
“Sissy, want to know what I bought for you?”
“Sure.”
“Socks.”
“Really, Piper? Socks?”
“Uh huh. Stinky, dirty socks.” Giggle. Giggle.
The house is officially decked. The tree is up. We’re eating on snowman plates. Holiday music is on tap. All the nativity scenes have been arranged and rearranged. Piper likes to round up all the various baby Jesus’ and puts them in a nursery together. The Josephs like to hang out in a “man cave,” which is probably not that far from the truth of time period. And the Marys? Piper has that figured out, too.
“These Marys need a girls night! They’ve got to be so bored just kneeling there watching the baby Jesus day after day after day. They need to dance!”
We haven’t yet broken it to Piper that Justin Beaver and Selema Gonez have broken up. Nor have we told her their real names. I’m not sure she even knows that they’re real people. They are just the background chatter on Disney Junior. They’re the beautiful people that you see staring back at you from the cover of People when you’re mom drags you to the grocery store. That doesn’t stop the Justin Beaver and Selema Gonez analogies though.
“Their love is like a volcano with no water,” Piper told the babysitter last night. She may be onto something there. Maybe she knows about the break up after all.
At bath time Piper tipped her toe in the warm water and declared “That water’s hotter than Selema Gonez!” The water cooled. Piper was cleaned. Then she had to get out of the tub. “Well, now I’m as cold as Selema Gomez!” she said, shivering in her towel.
“You know,” Sissy said, “They broke up. Justin and Selena. They aren’t together anymore.”
“Well,” Piper answered, “I’m just going to have to make up a song about that. So there.”
Piper requested pasta fagioli for dinner last night. Again. In the perfect Piper world, any kind of pasta with any kind of bean in any kind of broth would be served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Probably snacks, too. Here’s how I make mine:
Bring to a simmer 4 cups water, 1 can tomato paste (6 oz.), 1/4 cup olive oil, 2 tbsps dried basil, and a dash of red pepper flakes (Piper actually likes it spicy). Simmer for 30 minutes. Add 3 cans drained cannellini beans. Simmer another 30. Cook pasta (I use elbow or shells). Add salt and pepper to taste. You can also add chopped spinach or kale. Serve it all up topped with parmesan. Yum.
Last night Piper ate two heaping bowls. Then she begged for a third. Halfway through it, she ran to the couch, splayed herself on it, and announced “Just a minute! I’m digesting!”
piperism 