We caught Sissy reading a parenting magazine at breakfast yesterday. “Anything good in there?” I asked.

Sissy glanced over the top of the magazine. “You really should be teaching me this stuff, you know.” Which is probably true. But why bother when I can just have her read it herself? She doesn’t seem to need fixing to me.

Piper, too, got into the unsolicited parenting advice business tonight.

“Mom,” she began, “if I wrote a parenting book, I’d say…Step One: Be nice to your kid. Step Two: If they’re hurt, just hold them. Step Three: If they want something, give it to them after dinner. Step Eight: If they break something or ruin your favorite things and you get mad, pat them on the head and say you’re sorry. Step Five: If they want books, say yes.”

Whew. That’s a rather clear and concise parenting manual. I have to wonder if Step Four, Six, and Seven were key, though.

A few minutes later, Piper’s parenting plot was revealed. “Did I mention that there was a book fair at school next week?”