The F Word

Piper told us at dinner last night that she’d heard THE “f” word. Kids at school are saying it. Her teacher is discouraging it but it seems to be contagious.

“First Kayla said it,” Piper said. “Mrs. A warned her. Kayla did it again. BIG trouble!”

“What happened then?” Sissy asked.

“Nate said it, too. Mrs. A told him not to say it again.”

“Did Mrs. A say the ‘f’ word when she told them not to say it?” Daddy asked.

“No. She didn’t have to. Everyone knows the ‘f’ word.”

“What is it, Piper?”

“Fart.”

If I Had a Million Dollars

The dinner table conversation last night turned quickly from “What are you grateful for?” (our standard) to “If you could have a super power, what would it be?” (the inevitable) to “What would you do with a million dollars?” Piper’s answer was quick. She’s a bit impulsive. I’m hoping she never actually has a million dollars.

“I would SPEND, SPEND, SPEND,” she said, dancing around the table with what must have been her fairy spending wand.

“I’d buy us a house,” Dad said. Real estate is a bit pricey in our neck of the woods. A million dollars may get us a nice detached three bedroom.

“I think I’d give some away,” Sissy said. “We’re pretty lucky. A lot of people aren’t.”

Everyone looked down at their full dinner plates. Then Piper said, “That’s what I meant. I’d SPEND it on someone else.”