Be Careful Where You Sit

From Piper’s morning monologue…

“Dad, nobody wants to sit next to D in my class. He’s one of the booger boys.”

“The what?”

“The booger boys are a gang of boys who pick their boogers and wipe them places. Do not sit near them.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Also, D sucked on a crayon once. That does not help his cause.”

Sign Language

“Daddy taught me some sign language?” Piper said. “Want to see?”

“Of course,” I answered.

“This means beautiful.” Piper swiped her hand over her face.

“Nice.”

“And this means poop.” She stuck her thumb into her fist.

“Uh huh.”

“This is fart.” Piper wiggled her fingers beneath the sign for poop.

“Impressive. Nice work, Daddy.”

“Want to see the sign for picking your nose?” She stuck her finger up a nostril.

“That’s not a sign, Piper. You’re just picking your nose. Stop.”

“But you read the sign! It worked! See? Told you I know sign language.”