Sleeping Like a Piper

A Piper can sleep anywhere.  At almost any time of the day. Under most conditions. Napping is her religion, next to piperism, of course. As a baby, Piper was notorious for nodding off at impossible moments.  She once fell asleep on a bench in a noisy museum:

She fell asleep during the Thanksgiving parade amidst all of her screaming cousins:

This afternoon we were cuddled up reading books in our bed, snow had just begun to fall outside, and Piper asked if she could close her eyes for a minute.  “Just for a second,” she promised.  As if her napping is a true burden to me.  “Wake me up in six minutes, okay?” How will I possibly fill my moments? Ten seconds later she was doing this:

Which looks a lot like when she used to do this in our bed on that same pillow:

When a Piper sleeps there is much to drool about. Her heavy breathing sounds like a prank call. The kid is out.  You can turn on the lights, talk in loud voices, and jump on the bed.  I know. Her Sissy has done it all.  Nothing wakes a Piper.

I require the appropriate amount of bedtime reading, a cup of chamomile, two ear plugs, an eye mask, and a fan for white noise to even think about sleeping. It’s not just that Piper doesn’t have to plan a lecture for tomorrow on the impact of feminist poetry as protest (I’ll bet my students will be riveted!), it’s that she’s wired completely different.  This moment, the one where she’s sleepy and happily cuddled up with her mom in bed, is the only one that exists.  She’s my little Buddha.  My mindfulness wake up call.  I could learn a lot from a Piper.

Saving a Little For Myself

There was only one cannoli left.  One creamy, ricotta filled, chocolate wrapped, deep-friend piece of love.

Everyone else had eaten theirs during the Superbowl.  I saved mine.  And brought it out for my own personal dessert the next evening.  Piper sidled up to me immediately.  There was chocolate involved and no body likes the cocoa like the Piper. “Can I have some?” she asked.

“Of course you can,” I said, swallowing a small sigh. I got another fork.

“Wait. What’s in it?” Piper pointed her finger at the gooey ricotta spilling out of the shell.

I seized my opportunity.  If I could turn her off my treat, I could save even more for me. “It’s cheese, honey.  I know you’re not a fan of cheese.”  Hint, hint. Nudge.

My partner called me out immediately.  “Nice, Melissa. Nice.” We’d recently had a battle over my hiding of the bag of Utz Crab chips.  Don’t judge me.  Have you tasted those things? Crunchy, seasoned crack, I tell you.

UTZ The Crab Chip Potato Chip Family Size 4 pack (10.5 oz each)

“What?” I countered. “Piper doesn’t like cheese.  It’s a cheesy treat.”  True. Ricotta is a type of cheese.  A perfectly sweet delicious type of cheese but a cheese nonetheless.

“No thanks,” Piper said.  “Can I have one of the candy nuts?”  My heart pounded a bit harder.  Surely, she wasn’t talking about my Trader Joe’s 73% Dark Belgian Chocolate Covered Almonds.

Organic Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds

“You mean the filberts?” I asked. Now I know that a filbert technically only refers to the hazelnut but Piper doesn’t.

“The what?”

“Filberts.”

“I don’t want a filwhatever.” Then Piper crawled in my lap to watch me eat.

I smiled and enjoyed every bite.  I may be evil but my belly is happy.  And my kids don’t have cavities.  They’ll thank me later.

Soulmates

Piper met her soulmate a few days after her first birthday.  His name is Augie.

They picked each other out in the toddler room at the university daycare.  Piper knew immediately that he was something special.  Augie has one of those full bellied old man laughs. What more could a girl want? Piper then called every other boy she met “Audie” for a full two years. She really just hoped they’d all be him. Augie’s parents had to bribe him to go to daycare every day with a game they called “What is Piper wearing today?” It probably wasn’t that hard to guess since Piper really only wears the tutu or the rainbow dress, but it was enough to get Augie out the door and reunited with Piper.

Watching your kids make friends is a bonus I didn’t anticipate about parenting.  It feels good when someone likes them.  It’s a gut punch when they don’t. Your kids pick these other people to bring into your little world. It’s a risk. Piper brought us an Augie. We fell in love, too.

Piper is Augie’s personal laxative. He laughs so hard when they are together he…well, you know.  Every single play date. Every outing. Every time. Sometimes he has to come visit just for the cleanse.

When Piper and Augie are together, the rest of us disappear:

Their first official date was to the Longbranch Coffeehouse for Augie’s third birthday. He had his parents drive over in the Subaru to pick her up.  Piper was waiting by the door in the rainbow dress. At dinner, Augie had his standard back beans and rice. Piper ordered the quesidillas and a round of apple juice. She gave him a Mr. Potato Head for his present. Friends know what you like.

We don’t live in the same town as Augie anymore, but they send video messages to each other and say things like “I miss you. You’re my best friend. I need to see you soon.  I love you. I love you. I love you.” When Augie and his family recently visited us, Piper couldn’t sleep because of the anticipation. She waited by the door like a puppy, running back and forth watching the sidewalk for a glimpse of his blond head. After three days of giggling, Augie was empty (see above note regarding laxatives) and Piper was all filled up with love. Saying good-bye got a little rough.

How can you resist your soul mate?  You can’t.  The force is too strong. Even when you meet them before you can walk.

The other day Piper asked, “When Augie and I get married can we live with you guys?”  Of course you can.  I have videos of them bathing together I can’t wait to show their adult selves. Soulmates are forever.

Sometimes You Get What You Need Part Two

I didn’t know I needed a Piper until I got one.  For those readers who know Piper’s older sister, you won’t be surprised when I admit to being a Superior Parent.  That’s someone who has such an easy, well-mannered, logical first born that they assume everyone else is just doing it wrong.  Piper’s older sister was potty trained in about two minutes.  I just sat her down and explained the process and how we could spend more money on adult beverages and toys if we didn’t have to buy diapers.  It made complete sense.  Potty training was complete.  I think she’s disobeyed me exactly once in her lifetime. I’m hoping she’ll do more. We were a happy family of three type A overachievers living in an ordered world and along comes a Piper.

In her defense I had fair warning.  My entire pregnancy was like that scene from the movie Alien where you can make out the body parts through the stomach skin. My midwife once stood back in awe and said, “Well. I’ve never seen that before.” I’m pretty sure baby Piper was break dancing in there.  She intended to make a mess of my world.  And she did.  And I’m glad every hilarious, sometimes frustrating minute. Snuggling on the couch this afternoon, Piper asked, “Mommy, what did you laugh about before you had me?” I honestly can’t remember.  She teaches me every day how little control you can have over a force like love.

In case you missed it, here’s Sometimes You Get What You Need Part One.

Homemade Magic

Once upon a time there was a ballet shoe.  There was only one ballet shoe, but it wasn’t lonely.  The shoe had been passed to Piper from her older sister, who had lost the mate along the way.  But the lack of partner didn’t matter to Piper.  She loved the ballet shoe just as it was.

She wore the ballet shoe to bed every night.  She put it on when she came home from school.  She carried it in her backpack during the day.  The ballet shoe was in good company.  There was also a hot pink ruffled tutu that Piper wore every day.  Every single day.  One hundred and twenty-seven days in a row and counting. It went well with all of her outfits.  Her mother had to wash the tutu while Piper slept with her one ballet shoe to make sure the tutu was ready for morning wear.  The tutu was the first thing Piper put on every morning and the last thing she took off at night.  Sometimes the tutu liked to sleep in her bed so that it could stay close.

Piper said she felt like a superhero in her hot pink tutu and one ballet shoe, and so her mother let the magic take its own course.  The end.

The Same Mother

Image

We stayed at the beach until the bitter end, stuffed our suitcases with dirty clothes, and hopped a midnight flight home. At a sleepy breakfast the next morning I saw the difference between my two children.  I don’t know how two such varying people come from the same mother. The older sister spoke the voice of reason; she recommended that next year we come home a day earlier from our two week rockstar vacation to rest, to unpack, to catch up on laundry, and to buy groceries. She seeks civilization and order. Her baby sister embraces chaos and adventure. The uncertainty seems to fuel her spirit. Struggling to hold up her face from her cereal bowl, Piper asked, “How come we didn’t go to New York City, too?”