Catch a Cab

Posted on January 31, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

If you’re a parent, you spend a good part of your waking hours as a taxi service. The hours stink. There are no benefits. Tips are terrible. Yet, you pick up, drop off, and wait. Repeat.

Piper and I were shuttling Sissy tonight to a choir concert. It was raining. The parking lot was crowded. There was a tornado watch. Dinner had been rushed. Traffic was a nightmare. You get the idea. On our way to the concert we’d picked up Daddy at the Metro. He was walking Sissy inside while Piper and I waited in the warm car.

Piper watched the other parents in the parking lot doing the same. We saw more than one parent running after a kid with a McDonald’s sack.

“Where’s everyone going?” Piper asked.

“Probably doing the same as us, P. Picking up. Dropping off. Rushing around,” I said.

“Where are they all coming from?”

“Work. Downtown. This is a tough time to get anywhere. Especially in this weather.”

“But why are they working?” Piper asked.

“We have to work. Daddy and I go to our jobs. We get paid and then we can take care of you. Food, clothes, toys, choir concerts. It all costs money.”

“Wow,” Piper said, “that sounds like a serious amount of responsibility. What a meany world!”

Spelling Champ

Posted on January 29, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

Piper spelled her first word out loud recently. We’re so proud. She did it all on her own.

“Okay. Ready, Mom?”

“Ready.”

“D-O-O D-O-O.”

“Doo doo? Really, Piper?”

“Hahahahahah! I made Mommy say poop!”

Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain

Posted on January 28, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

What goes on in a Piper’s head? I wonder myself. It seems a great mash up. Every once in awhile she pulls back the curtain. What comes out is equally fascinating and hilarious. Piper’s revelations make me laugh so hard espresso shoots out my nose.

Yesterday, from her perch on the toilet, with the bathroom door wide open, of course, Piper yelled:

“Wait. Is RG3 like R2D2?”

It took me a full minute to register that she was mixing the Washington Redskins with Star Wars. And that’s what really goes on behind the curtain.

IKEA: Making Dreams Come True

Posted on January 27, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

Every once in awhile a block on our wall calendar comes up blank. No piano recitals, no birthday parties, no dinner parties. An empty Saturday block waiting for fun. Sure, there’s laundry, groceries, errands, cleaning, blah, blah, but they’re not going anywhere. The chores have been neglected this long; they can wait a little longer.

“What do you want to do today?” I asked Piper and Sissy over breakfast.

“IKEA!” they both shouted. I know. This part is a little embarrassing. My kids love going through the little micro rooms and pretending they live in a studio in Manhattan, which isn’t as glamorous as Piper and Sissy think but it’s certainly tolerable when every inch of your space is organized. Oh, and there are cinnamon rolls to die for. They sell them by the tray. You should buy two. Trays that is. That way you have some leftovers after you’ve scarfed down the first tray in the parking lot.

Sissy is a bit more obsessed with Ikea than Piper. Sissy asked Santa for an Ikea gift card; she’s memorized their catalog. The girl dreams big. But like the dutiful little sister, Piper obliges. She, too, has pledged her devotion to Ikea. Here is where I should probably tell you we actually only own one thing in our entire house by Ikea: bookshelves. We’re mostly into antiques and folk art. Ikea doesn’t traffic in either. Yet we regularly visit Ikea for fun. It’s like a giant doll house. And did I mention the cinnamon rolls?

“Can I go to their playland?” Piper asked.

“We’ll try,” I promised.

What’s the Ikea playland, you ask? Hold on to your seat. You aren’t going to believe this…

From the Ikea website: “Småland is a play area where children can feel Swedish forest atmosphere. While they are playing, you can enjoy your shopping experience knowing your children will be safe and cared for.

60 minutes, free of charge.”

You read that right. 60 MINUTES. FREE OF CHARGE. You just hopped in your car and started driving didn’t you? I would. In fact, I did.

The only catch? You’ve got to get there early. Every parent in town is trying to drop off their kid so they can take a nap in a showroom bed. Don’t judge us. Oh, and germaphobes need not apply. It’s a cesspool.

This was Piper’s first visit to Smaland. We’ve never arrived early enough to indulge in the Swedish forest atmosphere. The line has always been too long. Or I’ve been able to keep Piper flu free by convincing her that the entire store is Smaland. But my defenses were weakened. I was working on my fifth day of single parenting. Germs be damned.

So, we got our little red bucket and filled it with Piper’s hat, scarf, mittens, coat, boots. They slapped on matching arm bands so that they’d know which kid to return to which parent. And they gave me my pager, which you carry around the store for your 60 minutes of freedom. I’m guessing it actually works as an alarm clock to wake up those of us ~~snoozing~~ trying out the comfy couches. Piper gave Sissy and me high fives and ran off to the Swedish forest. Sissy and I bought hot chocolates and strolled. We pretended we lived in Paris and shopped for our library because everyone in Paris has a library and it needs organized.

59 minutes later we returned to retrieve our Piper. She looked a little sleepy. Probably worn out from all the fun, I guessed. Bonus.

“What did you do, Piper?” Sissy asked.

“Ball pit? Climbing wall? Art?” I offered.

“That slides looks fun,” Sissy said. “Did you meet new friends?”

Piper yawned. “No, I just watched a movie. It was the best!”

Playing Cupid

Posted on January 25, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

There was a tickle fest tonight. Piper lost. Until she jumped on my back and yelled “Love is my weapon!” which made me laugh so hard that I lost the battle. The end.

The Next Big Olympic Sport

Posted on January 24, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

It snowed! It snowed! It snowed!

In honor of the snow, Piper has invented a new sport. It’s called Snow Cuddling. Here’s how it goes, according to the Piper.

Step One: It has to snow.

Step Two: You look at the snow.

Step Three: You cuddle while looking at the snow.

Step Four: Repeat steps One through Three.

Two hour snow delays encourage creativity.

Jalapeno in Your Business

Posted on January 23, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

Last night at dinner I professed my love for jalapenos. It’s a new infatuation. I’m eating them on everything. Salads, spaghetti, fajitas, pancakes. Okay. Maybe not pancakes, but I’m seeking the heat, the spicy. I can’t seem to load on enough.

“You know why don’t you, Mom?” Sissy asked, matter of factly.

“Um. I love jalapenos?” I guessed.

“It’s because you’re getting older. Your taste buds deteriorate as you age. Aren’t you almost 40?” Oh, snap. She DID NOT. I gave her the evil eye and heaped on more jalapenos.

“It’s true, Mom,” Dr. Sissy continued. “That’s why young kids don’t like spicy food. They’re taste buds are stronger.”

“I get it, Mom,” Piper said. “I feel the same way about cannolis. If they were the last food on Earth…well, I’d eat ALL of them.”

Sugar. Oh Honey Honey.

Posted on January 22, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

Piper will do about anything to avoid the inevitable surrender to bed time. It begins with a shower, which is always too hot and too cold. If her teeth need brushed and I’m holding the toothpaste, she runs to her dad. If Dad has the hairbrush, Piper runs to me and begs me to wrestle her tangles. Until she decides I’m doing it wrong and runs back to Dad. And so it goes. Her stall tactics are epic.

Tonight she ran from the post bath lotioning ritual. “I need a hug, Mom. Dad’s putting on too much lotion. I’m all slick!” Piper slid into my lap.

“Ah,” she exhaled, wrapping my arms around her. “That’s the sugar!”

Never Let Them See You Sweat

Posted on January 21, 2013 by melissa.scholes.young

Piper gave her first Power Point presentation last week in kindergarten. She was very excited and little nervous. She kept running to me pre presentation to let me know she was sweating. Piper is a little sweaty. Always has been. Deodorant will one day be her friend.

I blogged about her fan club attendance here. Sissy and her friends filled the tiny chairs in the back of Piper’s classroom. It was about as adorable as you can imagine.

The presentation was called “Pasta Fagioli.” Piper bounced to the front of the board when her name was called and proudly presented her research. Here goes.

Like the other kindergartners, Piper most read from her presentation. She went a little off script when she riffed about dried basil being an herb and she wasn’t sure what food group that belonged to. Then she added the interesting tomato as a fruit/vegetable debate. Then she smiled and said, “Okay, next slide please” to her tech assistant. At the end of her presentation, Piper bowed deeply. Then she sprinted to my lap. It’s not every day in kindergarten that your mom’s lap is just sitting there empty waiting for you.

After all of the presentations, Piper was assigned a reflection piece to write. She had a little help from her people.