February | 2013 | piperism

Yesterday was Piper’s class picture. You know the one where the whole kindergarten smooshes together and smiles so that 10 years later you can look back and wonder what happened to the kid who ate paste. We forgot it was picture day. You’re supposed to dress up for picture day. You’re supposed to look presentable.

We’ve had a series of weather delays and early releases and general schedule rescheduling that’s left us in a permanent state of flux. I’m pretty sure Piper’s teeth were brushed. I doubt her hair was. She was wearing at least seven pieces of rainbow jewelry. Maybe two tutus. I remind her daily to wear underwear. Clean underwear. My standards are that high.

“Mom! We forgot picture day!” Piper told me on our walk home.

I shrugged. What could I do now? “Sorry, honey.”

“Thank goodness I look THIS good every day!” Piper said, twirling in her paste eating loveliness and smiling. I checked for underwear. Whew.

Piper’s favorite place at school is the hallway. She’s a fan of anything that gets her out of class. There are multi-colored clothes pins that serve as hallway passes. Piper likes to collect them.

One of my dear stay-at-home-volunteer-at-school-rule-the-world friend moms recently took pictures for the school yearbook, and here is where she located the Piper: smiling innocently as she got out of class once again.

A Piper has places to go. Here are her favorite routes:

1. The Bathroom. She likes to sit on a stool and think. It’s quiet in there. Also, you can sing loudly and listen to the echo.

2. Sissy’s Classroom. There’s a little glass window in the door of Sissy’s classroom. If you smash your face against the glass and squint hard, you might catch a glimpse of Sissy, but Sissy usually has her face stuck in a book and doesn’t look up. Every single one of her friends has to call out one by one “Isabelle! Piper is at the window!” The teacher loves that.

3. The Hand Washing Station. This is the trough of soap dispensers and fun outside of the cafeteria. It looks a lot like those water tables at Science Centers. Piper likes to make suds and soak her clothes. At least she’s sanitized.

4. The Locker. Oh, the locker. Has there ever been anything cooler than your locker? It’s endless fun. And it’s the best place to shove things on the route between your teacher and your mom. Neither of them check there. Hardly.

5. The Office. Every school should have a Mrs. Army. That’s her real name. Sort of. She runs the school. At any second Mrs. Army knows the exact GPS position of all 900 kids in school. And she knows where they are supposed to go after school, too. Mrs. Army deserves top secret security clearance. Piper likes to intentionally forget stuff at home just so she can get called to the office to pick it up from Mrs. Army.