sibling rivalry | piperism

I’m home for the summer with my kids. All the time. Every minute. Me and them. That’s it. I’ve always joked that I am a good parent ten hours a day, which means by hour eleven we’re drinking beer and watching Will and Grace on the couch. I’m kidding. Don’t worry, Mom. I’d never let them watch Will and Grace.

We’ve been enjoying the lazy summer days. Sleeping in. Swimming. Playing cards. Doing projects we never get around to during the busy school year. Traveling a lot. But there never seems to be enough me to go all around. Someone wants more. More of me. They’re never satisfied with my full attention. Yesterday, I said, “How about if I just divide my body? We’ll slice me up and dole out pieces. Then you don’t have to fight over me.”

Without missing a beat, Piper said, “Okay. I want you arms. So you can hold me all the time.”

Boredom can be productive. Or not. In our house, when you run out of really good things to fight about, like whether Strawberry Shortcake is or is not totally lame (she is), Piper and Sissy invent new games. Like this one:

“First one to touch the chair wins!”

“First one to touch Mom’s hair wins!”

“First one to touch Mom’s eyeball wins!”

“First one to touch my foot wins!”

“First one to touch the door wins!”

“First one to touch this piece of paper I’m holding wins!”

“First one to touch my elbow wins!”

“First one to touch the couch wins!”

“First one to touch me wins! Wait, I’m already touching me! I win!”

Clearly, I’m raising creative children, capable of entertaining themselves. Or at the least, competitive touchers. One time they stood at the window of a furniture store arguing about who was going to get which couch and/or loveseat. They verbally tagged each piece as they debated whether cushions count as one choice or multiple claims.

As if the only barrier to them acquiring expensive sofas at a boutique store in Georgetown was dibs.

A very wise friend recently told me that she thinks some sibling rivalry is good. If you don’t truly care about each other, then why care about the outcome? And if you have to learn hard lessons in life, like the unfairness of not being able to afford $1000 ottomans, isn’t it best to learn it from someone who loves you? If that’s true, then Piper and Sissy in the category of sibling rivalry are clearly overachievers.