You have to admit that those presidential debates can be a bit dry. But what if Piper moderated them? That would be worth watching. Here’s why:
10. Everyone would wear tutus.
9. When a response doesn’t make sense, the candidate would have to open fake potato chip cans and release the screaming snake while Piper fact checked them.
8. She’d enforce the rules: No ‘rupting each other. Wait your turn.
7. Mid debate recess break. Wouldn’t everyone be nicer after a few trips down the slide?
6. The water would be in dribble glasses. Parched throat? Help yourself. Snicker. Snicker.
5. Candidates would have to hold hands while debating.
4. Augie gets to ask all the questions from the audience.
3. Bowls of goldfish for snacking. Yum.
2. Time? What time? What’s that?
1. Candidate who farts first, wins.