“Mom,” Piper asked, “do you ever wear cucumbers on your eyes when you go to the spa?”

“Once I did, but usually they just put little hydrating pads on your eyes that do the same thing,” I said.

“Do they use anything besides cucumbers? You know, like broccoli or peppers?”

“No, just cucumbers.”

“I’d want the cucumbers, too. Then if I got hungry, I’d just eat them and ask for more.”