This Will Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You

Some punishments I dole out end up punishing me more than them.

We’ve had a rash of vitamins making their way to the carpet rather than people’s mouths. I picked up seven from the kitchen floor last night while vacuuming. I’m not sure if I’m more worried about the missed nutrition or if I’m pissed about the expensive dye-free, sugar-free, vegetarian, whole foods waste. Probably the latter.

I ranted before I’d had time to process.

“The next time I find a vitamin on this floor, there will be no tv for a week!” I shouted. If I was a superhero, I’d be Vacuuming with Venom. You should never vacuum angry.

I said it out loud. Now I have to do it, right? I hate that part of parenting. There’s no space for my emotional rants and retractions. Geez. As if I have any clue what I’m about to say before I say it.

The threat is working, though. Piper has appointed herself the keeper of the vitamins. She’s supervising Sissy for once. “I have an idea,” Piper told me this morning crawling in bed next to me. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the vitamin problem. I can’t go a week without tv. Why don’t we eat the vitamins as soon as they’re put on our plates? That way we don’t wait and accidentally drop them on the floor.”

Brilliant. Clearly, the punishment fits the crime.

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7 thoughts on “This Will Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You

  1. I remember the chewing brocoli then spitting it out in the napkin when my mom wasn’t looking. Haha. But that Piper, that’s a smart one. My dad use to crush the vitamins and then add them to my orange juice so I would take them.

    • Your kids will do the same thing, Ayo, and you’ll probably look the other way, too. I suspect your mom knew about the napkin. She might have been doing the same thing. Broccoli really is awful, but it’s in our parenting contract to make you eat it.

  2. I have always been a little in the gray area….sometimes when giving out punishment in anger, I later revise it when not angry. I figure as long as there is still time for the crime it works! Your Piper so reminds me of Little Madi, I love it.

    • It just slips off the tongue so easy! On the bright side, it does free up the tv so I can catch up on Nanny 911 and Food Network. And if I turn it up really loud I can’t hear the kids playing/fighting in their room.

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