“Don’t worry, Mom. I picked up the poop and put it back in the toilet,” Piper said casually, patting my back for comfort.
I stopped myself from asking how it got out of the toilet. No answer is going to make me feel better.
“Did you wash your hands?” I asked, peeling her paws off my shoulders.
“Be right back!” Piper skipped happily from the room.
Ugh.
piperism 
Don’t worry, Mom! Hahahahaa!!
How can a mom not worry about doodie? Especially when someone’s wiping their doodie hands on your back? Ewww.
I’d like to note for the record that Piper’s statement is not an admission of guilt.
Oh, you and your lawyer talk. When I tell my friends how cool you are I never mention your dirty secret.
Heeeee. She patted your back. I just read this aloud to Hubs and he giggled, too.
Hubs gets me. He, too, has probably had a healthy dose of grubby germy pats.
You know it.