There is a theory in early childhood education studies that the slow pace of children is intended to teach parents to have more patience (I totally just made that up). At least that’s why I believe a Piper landed in our family. She moves at her own pace. That pace alternates between hummingbird and sloth. There’s nothing in between. If there is a cupcake involved, she’s speedy. If there is a chore assigned, her legs suddenly have cramps and she can hardly move a muscle. She also operates a bit like the dog in Up who is constantly distracted by Squirrel!
At lunch after church yesterday, Piper was distracted by Tiles! We were at a diner and the floor was one of those old-fashioned black and white patterned numbers. Piper decided she could only step on the black tiles for the entire mile long route to the restroom. Her tile selection meant she had to weave in and out of aisles, hopping gingerly from foot to foot and waving her arms in the air for balance. You’d think it might annoy the other patrons, but a Piper is so darn cute that people just smile and pat her like she’s an adorable puppy. Because I was afraid that her bladder may not match her tile concentration, I suggested several times that we hurry up a bit more. She ignored me. I suggested picking up the pace slightly more vehemently. Piper stood her ground on the lone black tile, crossed her arms over her chest, and said, “Mom, I don’t do fast.” Unless, of course, she wants to.
piperism 
I have done extensive scientific studies of my 3 and 8 year old (not really) and came up with the inevitable truth that their speed is dependent entirely on my need for them to get their butts in gear. the more panic in my eyes and voice, the slower they become. realities like this are why schools were invented. 🙂
I’ve read the exact same studies. You sound very smart to me. I tell my kids that when they have kids I’m coming over to their house every single school morning to intentionally sabotage the routines and ensure that their children are always late to school. It will be so satisfying.
hahahahHAHAHAHA. totally. you forgot to mention the twinkies and lucky charms we’ll give them for breakfast!
Absolutely! Don’t forget they’ll need a Diet Coke to wash down the twinkies and lucky charms. Then, they’ll really be ready to learn.
I love this. Perfect description of my kid too. There’s seriously no rushing kids as much as we wish we could. My toddler insists that he and I walk on the white lines in our parking garage, or that he pick up and toss every single acorn on a trail path (which may explain why it took us 30 MINUTES to walk 20 feet… too many darn acorns!).
Exactly. I do find that I enjoy the snail’s pace when I have the time. Your son is just helping all those animals find the acorns more easily. The path is always a dangerous place.