Star of the Flipping Week: Dripping Sarcasm Alert

Last Friday when I picked up Piper from preschool I learned that she was slated for Star of the Week status.  I happened to notice that the classroom was tackling the “O” as their next letter and remembered a conversation a few months back in which Piper threw herself on the ground complaining about how very much she detested the letter “O.” I don’t know what “O” ever did to her, but somewhere in the back of my brain, I remembered Star of the Week.  So, I did the unthinkable.  I asked Piper’s teacher.

“Um. Is Piper’s Star of the Week thingy coming up soon?”

I regretted the words as they slipped from my mouth.  Who doesn’t know when their child is scheduled for the illustrious Star of the Week? Sorry. I’m a little bitter over here.

“You don’t know?” Preschool teacher asked. “I sent home a notice in January.  It had all of the instructions. You’ll need to dig that out.”

Right. January. Let me think back through four months, six trips, nine house guests, and two full-time jobs. You’re right. I’m a loser mom.

“Do you think you could just give me the instructions again? My husband probably lost them.” Oh, snap.  Threw Piper’s dad under the bus. Sorry, honey.

Preschool teacher made me wait in the hall ten minutes.  It felt like detention.

“I can see you now,” she called from inside the room.

Piper and I came in, our heads hanging low.

“So, there’s the poster, the snack, and the book.  You’ll need to make a poster about Piper’s family–”

“I will? Can’t Piper do it? I mean. It’s about her, right?” Strike two.

“Sure. You can take a look at the wall to see some examples.”

The wall was covered with professionally printed Star of the Week posters. Laminated. With Glamour Shots. They were perfect.

“Okay. The poster,” I said. “Got it. And?”

“Well, Piper’s letter is “O” so you’ll need to provide a snack that begins with the letter “O,” like Oreos.”

I winced. We don’t eat Oreos.  Unless Grandma and Grandpa are in town and sneak them under the table. Preschool teacher all but rolled her eyes.

“Well, I’m sure you can think of a healthy snack that begins with the letter “O.” You can look it up online.”

I have such trouble brainstorming the beginning letters of words these days.  Thank goodness for Google. Whew.

“And Piper will need to bring in her favorite book.  Usually the kids read the books to the class, but we’ll make an exception for Piper.”

I know. What kind of a four-year-old isn’t reading yet, right? Strike three.

I had some catching up to do with my slack parenting. We headed immediately to the store for supplies. Piper was jumping up and down in the aisle when she saw this:

A poster board in Rainbow! Who knew? Then, she and Sissy spent a couple of hours Saturday afternoon printing off pictures from the blog.  As a total slacker mom I don’t have loads of spare pictures of my kids waiting for arts and crafts projects. Thus, the need for this blog. Piper cut and pasted the pictures herself and did the labeling.  Lalaloopsies made it on to the poster board somehow. They’re a big part of our family. It was way out of my hands.

Piper is pretty proud of her board. It’s hers. Really, really hers.

We also negotiated the snack from Oreos to healthy oatmeal raisin treats. Piper vetoed okra chips and oranges.

I wasn’t as successful in the book selection.  I teach in the Literature Department at a university, so I pushed the classics, but Piper chose this instead:

I’ll be biting my tongue. Why? Because Piper is Star of the Week and she’s doing it her way.

11 thoughts on “Star of the Flipping Week: Dripping Sarcasm Alert

  1. Ha!! Em always tells me I look just like Nancy’s mom. You know her very plain not at all fancy mom. Sometimes I want to tell her “do you know how damn fancy I was before you little creatures? It would BLOW YOUR MIND!”

    • Dear Em,
      Nancy’s mom and your mom are totally fancy on the the INSIDE. That’s where it really matters, sister. And don’t forget that when Nancy’s mom needs to she can still rock the FANCY.
      Piper’s Keeper

  2. Love her labeling! Thanks for posting this…it made me feel better after sending my kid to baseball team pictures today with NO UNIFORM!! Dad thought I had it, he was coming from home. I thought he had it, I was coming from work. It was too late to turn around. The photographer saved the day by letting us know he could photoshop a jersey onto him! All we could think was what the coach thought of his nitwit parents…nevermind we were also shuttling the kids to and from jazz band, piano lessons, baseball concession duty night, preparing our special needs kid for his field trip to Alligator Farm tomorrow, and swapping the kids after I got off and hubby started his night shift. Not like we’d forget anything, right?! 😀

      • Lol…we try…doesn’t always come out looking that way. My mom passed on the “What will the neighbors think?! (gasp!) gene. I figure, geez, this is, what, our 15th round (3 kids x 10 seasons minus age/league differences) of baseball pics…not bad considering this is our first offense. Thanks for the encouragement 😀

  3. Piper missed the P’s by one week – what kind of preschool teacher (especially one that expects directions from January to be retained) doesn’t take into consideration children’s first names when making Star of the Week decisions?

    • Now that is an excellent point, Beth. I hadn’t considered how easy the letter P would have been. A crowd pleaser in our house for sure. The January thing still boils my blood a bit. Maybe we all need to cut each other some slack and remember we’re on the same team. I’m glad you’re in my corner!

  4. I’m so glad La La Loopsy made it on the poster. Seriously, what teacher chides your 4 year old for not reading and doesn’t offer another copy of the requirements? Snack that starts with O? Hmm, oatmeal bars I guess is the best- how about Old fashioned donuts? Oh wait, I guess that’s as unhealthy as Oreos. You could have them wash it down with some Ovaltine!

    • Lalaloopsies, Chippettes, and the flippin My Little Ponies got equal play. Clearly, this Virgo wasn’t involved. I had to resist the urge to not take the poster apart once she went to bed and clean up the cutting edges and repaste it all in straight lines. I did resist, though. But I have to say I’ve been hanging out in the preschool hallway a little extra long this week just waiting for a snide remark so I could unleash. I think I’ll go toast my self control with some Ovaltine!

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